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Disney Channel's 'Halloweentown': 15 reasons to move to fictional world

The Disney Channel Original Movie celebrates its 17th anniversary.

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Unless you’re staying at American Horror Story‘s Hotel Cortez, or living on campus at Scream Queens‘ Wallace College, chances are your current location isn’t maximizing its Halloween potential. Sure, you could move to St. Helen, Oregon, where Disney Channel’s original Halloweentown was filmed, for your fill of Jack-o’-lanterns and apple cider, but in honor of the movie’s 17th anniversary Saturday, let’s celebrate with all of the reasons to move to the real (well, fake) version in the 1998 TV movie.

Candy all year.

It doesn’t even matter if you rot your teeth out — that just means you’re on your way to a more genuine mummy look.

The costumes.

Dressing up once a year is fun but there’s a lot of pressure to find the perfect costume, and narrowing it down to just one can be difficult. When it’s Halloween everyday, you can try out different costumes without the stress of crafting a disguise that’s equal parts sexy, funny, and clever.

A good scare.

Your local haunted house is great for a night of fear, but Halloweentown offers the real deal when it comes to all things spooky. After all, mortal Halloween is just an imitation of Halloweentown’s celebration.

The cab drivers are skeletons.

You won’t feel bad having your driver put their life at risk driving you through rush hour traffic when they’re already dead. And don’t worry about complaining about their skills on the road — they’re nothing but a bag of bones.

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All transportation options are equally awesome.

A flying bus takes you around, along with magic portals, which sure beats hopping on a crowded subway during your morning commute. And not to mention getting around via broomstick. “There’s a reason witches don’t ride minivans,” jokes Aggie (Debbie Reynolds).

Halloweentown High.

Featured in the third installment of the Disney Channel franchise, Halloweentown High offers classes on magic and spells. Way cooler than AP Spanish or calculus.

Extracurriculars are important, too.

Take a Jazzercise class taught by a werewolf, join a pickup basketball game with some monsters, or volunteer at the headless shelter.

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A new dating pool.

If you haven’t had luck with humans, try witches or warlocks. It worked for Marnie (Kimberly J. Brown).

There’s no such thing as overpacking.

This is probably more of a perk for the ladies, but with Aggie Cromwell’s bottomless shoulder bag that fits everything from pumpkins and garlic cloves (for warding off vampires) to candy and costumes, you’ll never have to worry about storage space on the go.

No one judges you based on looks.

As Aggie says, “You can’t tell what’s in a monster’s heart just by looking at him.”

Pumpkin everything, all year round.

The winter squash stays in season all year in Halloweentown, so basics can always get their PSL fix.

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Trying a new hairstyle.

With werewolves and centaures working the local barber shop, stop in for a fresh do or sulfuric acid treatment.

Learning some history.

Aggie’s lived in her house for 200 years and chances are her neighbors have been around for a couple centuries too. The best way to learn about history is from the people who lived it, so why not take advantage of the living textbooks who reside in Halloweentown.

Good always beats evil.

The Cromwells stop Kalabar from taking over the mortal world because the dark side never wins in Halloweentown.

Discovering your superpowers.

Just like Marnie learns to be the witch she always wanted to be, you’ll probably learn a thing or two about yourself when you’re free to unleash your inner passions. “All you have to do is want something and let yourself have it,” Aggie says in the film.

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