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'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' The 9 best lines from 'Boyle's Hunch'

Posted on

John P. Fleenor/Fox

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

type:
TV Show
Current Status:
In Season
tvpgr:
TV-14
seasons:
3
run date:
09/17/13
performer:
Andy Samberg, Andre Braugher
broadcaster:
Fox
genre:
Comedy, Crime

Boy, Boyle is girl-crazy this season. Last week, he skipped some mourning to partake in an afternoon of sexy times. (Granted, the commitment-free — and first-name free — nature of it all was too much for this soulmate-seeker to bear.) And this week, he fell hard and weird for a lovely, emotionally available art gallery owner. Who eats octopus balls. And who has three dogs. And who sleeps on the floor. She was the perfect woman in every way for him — except that the shiny jewelry around her wrists was actually handcuffs, because she’d just been arrested for an insurance scam. But Sir Charles believed in love as well as her innocence, recruiting his buddy Jake to help exonerate her and setting up an amusing undercover bumble in the avant-garde art jungle that ultimately allowed Jake to clear her name. 

Meanwhile, in a more underwhelming story line, Rosa recruited Terry to prove the guilt of Scully and Hitchcock, the lactose-intolerant duo who swiped her Moose Tracks ice cream. But perhaps the tastiest plot news of the episode was…no, not Jake partnering up with a tarantula named Spidey Klum/Mrs. Doubtspider/Joe Spiden/Tarantula Bassett/Spidermot Mulroney that went on the lam and then Terry’s head…nope, also not Amy’s face getting vandalized with poor grammar… that’s right, it was Holt’s meaty mea culpa. After ignoring his underling Gina’s advice and winding up with a PR mess on his hands (hope the show further explores the topical issue of how the police are perceived in the community), the proud captain admitted that he had in fact made a mistake by not listening to her. Gina responded with tremendous grace by unveiling a GINA TOLD YOU SO T-shirt. (Possibly available in all sizes on Fox.com tomorrow, along with “I’m the Nostradamus of your shame” and “Hi, Gina Linetti, the human form of the 100 emoji” hats.)

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Let’s get a mani-pedi, do some serious subtweeting, take a bite of this chocolate éclair with lox on it and then spit it out because it’s totally gross, and revisit the best lines of “Boyle’s Hunch.” 

9. “Not a problem. I hate moving.” Scully to Rosa after she suspects him of a crime, tells him that she’ll be right back, and instructs him not to move.

8. “My hunch is that it’s a jealous ex-lover. Girl like that. Three dogs. Makes her own turkey stock. That’s the kind of woman you don’t get over.” —Charles, speculating that his new crush was framed

7. “Do you seriously not hear it? Because it almost seems intentional at this point.” —Jake to Charles after he says that he’s “not okay with her having sex with another man but I’m okay with it if that’s what gets her off.”

6. “Oh, right, let’s hear an unbiased opinion from your straight-up Swimfan.” —Gina to Holt after he seeks Amy’s advice

NEXT: ‘Fun but not too fun’ [pagebreak]

5. “Okay, here’s my cover. My name is Sherwin LeMonde. Sculptor, painter, full-time barista. But once I sell my first piece? Part-time barista.” —Jake to Charles on their undercover mission in the art gallery

4. “I told you before — it’s not harassment unless you can prove intent to fart.” Terry to Rosa after she told him that she wanted to arrest Hitchcock and Scully

3. “Sorry about that. Donald is… sucks.” Jake to Nick after Charles blows his (crappy) cover as Donald Hoberman-Seitz, a guy that wears glasses

2. “Ames, I wanna say you look great…don’t, let me finish…dot dot dot for you. Great news is it doesn’t matter because this campaign, like 3 out of 5 Backstreet Boys, is inconsequential.” —Gina to Amy about her NYPD photo shoot

1. “Sir, ‘fun but not too fun’ was my campaign slogan when I ran for prom queen.” —Amy to Holt after he told her to look “fun but not too fun” during her photo shoot