There is literally no way they’re going to get away with this murder — this much, we know, is true. But when season 2 of Shondaland’s most fingernail-taxing roller coaster returns, the Keating Five will resume their wicked, occasionally psychotic, thoroughly entertaining behavior, which often results in some of the outrageous moments that made How to Get Away with Murder such a thrill in its first season.
But I’m not just talking about dead bodies or big plot twists. For those, watch our refresher. Yeah, Wes killed Sam, Sam and Frank killed Lila, and Sam’s phone was on a dead girl’s penis (or something like that). Over the summer, you’ve had plenty of time to revisit those big plot points in anticipation of tonight’s premiere.
But before the techno beat of a case-of-the-week evidence-discovery montage overtakes us on this hallowed TGIT, let’s take a look at 10 of the most insane, outrageous, truly WTF-inducing moments that you almost definitely forgot happened on the road from the flying cheerleader to the dead goth girl under the stairs.
HTGAWM needed a royalty-free version of Grindr for playboy Connor to quite literally screw around with. Enter Humpr, the unapologetically titled hook-up app that every character had to tout with a straight face. The app’s hilariously genius debut in episode five was proof that aside from the pilot’s promise of murder and insanity, there was actually a sense of humor to be had. And a sense of Humpr.
9. Annalise called on another student.
Fun fact: There are about 80 students in the average 1L lecture at Harvard. Annalise Keating has only ever called on maybe nine in total, though her classroom diplomacy has skewed heavily towards her favorite Keating Five. Imagine the shock when, in episodes 12 and 14, Annalise called on TWO new students! It is so ordered. ABC has not yet announced whether episode 14’s Miss Leibowitz returns as a series regular for the new season.
8. Laurel’s rich!
When the Keating Five returned home for a lighthearted Christmas break of pies, presents, and keeping the deadly secret that they murdered a middle-aged man, it was revealed that quiet Laurel Castillo — she of silent strategies and modest cardigans — comes from a super wealthy Floridian family. It’s not actually that crazy of a reveal, but we knew so little about Laurel that a brief glimpse into her surprising oodles of money (and her amazing chunky jewelry collection) made the introspective student so much more layered.
7. Bonnie gets fired!
There are a hundred Bonnie moments you probably forgot about. Remember her random hotel hook-up, which I definitely thought was her attempt to steal some guy’s DNA? (Damn, this show really got into my head.) Or when she handed Asher’s ass to him outside the courtroom like he had just served the most offensive of raw beef on Chopped? The standout is when she crawled onto the floor, tears filling her eyes, to beg Annalise’s forgiveness for keeping precious Sam intel from her. It was in that shocking bit of humility that this Bon made us all feel vivant.
6. That time they hacked Sam’s body into pieces and burnt it.
We seem to gloss over the fact that these beautiful law students not only murdered Sam, but CHOPPED UP HIS BODY into transportable pieces. That was fun, right? Murder is one thing but such a slice-and-dice is another, and that hackjob definitely takes a toll on an impressionable 22-year-old. And you wonder why Connor’s got the trauma shakes on Murder Night? (My old roommate’s theory is that he’s just cold.)
5. Annalise’s courtroom speeches.
Annalise’s most heartstopping confrontations aren’t always when she’s confronting her husband about dead girls or scolding her students, also about dead girls. Did courtroom monologues even exist before Viola Davis came to TV? Do yourself a favor and go re-watch her courtroom takedown in episode six, then tell me that the Emmy belonged to anyone else.
4. This Cicely Tyson quote:
“Don’t you know a VIP when you see one? Your boss came out of my V and her daddy’s P.” WELCOME TO THE FAMILY, CICI.
3. “Don’t be.”
If the big question of the first half of season one was “Who killed Sam?,” the second question was about how Annalise was going to react when she found out. As it so happens, when Wes apologized to Sam’s corpse for, well, being responsible for it being a corpse, Annalise calmly assured him that he had no reason to feel guilt. And suddenly, everything we saw on the Night of the Flying Cheerleader could have been directed by the spouse of the very body presenting all the problems. A hiatus has never been so cruel.
2. Pax jumps out a window
The series found its stride in the third episode, but found its crazy in the fourth — in the C storyline, no less! Paxton, the corporate assistant Connor wooed to squeal on his boss, was consequently humiliated by his employer and was so shamed that he threw himself out the window. And suddenly, s— stopped being polite and started getting real.
1. Michaela tries to slap her mother in law
My favorite moment from season 1 of HTGAWM was the truly ridiculous scene in episode 8 in which Michaela, after being shamed into a prenup by her intimidating future mother-in-law, decided that the best route to take is to ATTEMPT TO SLAP HER. Michaela is the perfect specimen of millennial success and as such, she’s always been teetering on the brink of emotional insanity. When Aiden’s mother (Lynn Whitfield) pushed the right buttons and forced Michaela to sign a prenup — “Either sign or I will make sure you go back to that nasty bayou swamp you came from, you stubborn bitch” — Michaela finally snapped. Though she later apologized for her “backwater” side, it remains one of HTGAWM’s most unexpected acts of human behavior … on a show where a man was literally chopped up and distributed across a landfill after being transported to the woods in an antique rug.
Bring it, season 2!
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How to Get Away with Murder airs Thursdays at 10 p.m. ET.