ABC/Craig Sjodin
June 10, 2015 at 05:11 PM EDT

This week, Kaitlyn headed to New York, where she hoped she wouldn’t have to deal with the drama she’s been facing all season. And things went smoothly for a while: She kicked out Clint, skipped a rose ceremony, and set up a rap battle date.

And then Nick from Andi’s season had to show up. His appearance forced Kaitlyn to make a difficult decision, even though she admits he “seemed a little condescending with the other guys on the show.” In her blog about the episode, she explains why she went through with inviting Nick to join the rest of the men competing for her heart. “I went on The Bachelorette to find a lifelong partnership, and if that meant getting over some speed bumps to be happy forever, it was something I had to do,” she writes. “I did take some time to think about it, but I couldn’t deny my chemistry with Nick.”

Head over to People to read her complete blog entry.

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