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The 'Guardians of the Galaxy' porn parody you never asked for is coming this weekend

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Guardians of the Galaxy was one of 2014’s biggest hits. So honestly, it’s amazing a porn parody is only now being released.

WoodRocket.com, which labels itself “the future of porn,” is relying on one of porn’s oldest motifs with the major film parody, in which a Star-Lord stand-in and his ragtag group of Guardians take on an adventure Disney and Marvel would definitely not approve of.

Gnardians of the Galaxy is set to release in two parts, with the first debuting on the site today. To go along with it, the teaser art (viewable above) and a trailer have been released.

And as expected, it’s as gross and NSFW as could be. The trailer, viewable on io9, shows what appears to be a relatively straightforward take on the 2014 blockbuster with, presumably, many more sex scenes involved.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a parody without joke names, and every character has one that’s as juvenile as can be. Pecker Quill, a.k.a. Star-Load, leads a team that includes Gawhora, Crax the Dickstroyer, Groin—who is meant to be as lovable as Groot, but in a very different way; naturally he only says “I am Groin”—and Rocket Racooch. 

Perhaps the most NSFW aspect of the trailer is the accompanying music, a “Hooked on a Feeling” parody that is about as lewd as could be.

Suffice to say, if any character says “What a bunch of a-holes,” like in the original Guardians trailer, it, and everything else in the movie, will take on a whole new meaning.