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'Two and a Half Men': 16 crazy moments to remember

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Two and a Half Men | Monday, 8-8:30 p.m., CBS The warlock has left the building. With the spectacular, bridge-burning, jumping-down-?the-inflatable-?emergency-slide exit of Charlie Sheen from Two and a Half Men…
Matt Hoyle/CBS

Two and a Half Men ends Thursday after a titanic 12-season, 262-episode run that truly launched the Chuck Lorre empire. And in case you weren’t one of the millions who tuned in over the past dozen years, a lot happened on this show.

Like what, you ask? Here are a few of the more notable, bizarre moments that EW could pick out.

1. Charlie was afraid of seagulls, which became a central plot device… in the very second episode.

2. Chris O’Donnell played Bill, a transgender man and once a girlfriend of Charlie’s. He ends up dating Evelyn (Holland Taylor), Charlie and Alan’s mother. Despite a somewhat callous title for the sake of a joke—”An Old Flame with a New Wick”—the topic was treated relatively delicately.

3. Martin Sheen played the father of a woman Charlie was seeing in season 3; Martin Sheen is, of course, Charlie Sheen’s actual father. And in season 6, Charlie Sheen’s brother Emilio Estevez played one of Charlie’s old friends.

4. When Alan divorced his wife Kandi, the show’s other characters bet on this happening—including his son, Jake. That’s right—his offspring, the flesh of his flesh, the blood of his blood, was in on the “my dad gets divorced” pool.

5. In season 4, Danielle (Brooke Shields) moves in next door. In what’s perhaps an ode to Seinfeld, she wants to sleep with both Harpers. Alan is freaked out; Charlie is turned off. (Her plan did not at all work like “The Switch.”)

6. Noted playboy Charlie once got arrested just for a second chance with a woman… who was a judge.

7. Charlie briefly became a writer of children’s songs alias Charlie Waffles. Whoever the alternate-universe Leslie Knope is would applaud the name.

8. In season 5, writers of Men and writers from its fellow CBS series CSI swapped shows. The resulting Men centered around the death of a character; it even featured George Eads from CSI.

9. After the great Charlie Sheen meltdown of 2011, the show killed off his character; it’s inferred that his love interest, Rose, pushed him front of a Parisian subway train. The funeral featured a closed casket because of his grisly death, which closed the door on any possible Sheen return.

10. Charlie’s ashes are kept in an urn in the house’s liquor cabinet, and have been spilled a handful of times.

11. Alan has a mental break in season 9 after Walden (Ashton Kutcher) sells Charlie’s piano, and starts acting like his brother. Walden checks Alan into a mental hospital. As the delusion of Las Vegas overtakes him, Alan says “winning,” Sheen’s oft-uttered post-Men catchphrase.

12. After the Sheen falling out, Kathy Bates played Charlie’s ghost, appearing to Alan after he suffered a heart attack. She won an Emmy for the role.

13. Walden—a dot-com billionaire—pretends to be a poor sap by the name of Sam when with his girlfriend Kate (Brooke D’Orsay). Going between identities stresses Walden out, making him lose his hair and have difficulty, uh, in the bedroom.

14. Season 11 marked Amber Tamblyn’s arrival to the show; she played Jenny, Charlie’s illegitimate lesbian daughter, adding the missing third wheel when Jones left the show, following his own meltdown.

15. Dick Van Dyke was supposed to appear in a season 11 episode in which his former coworker Carl Reiner (The Dick Van Dyke Show) saw his character Marty get married. Reportedly, Van Dyke declined because of “too many penis jokes.” This is somehow unsurprising.

16. During the Season 12 premiere, Alan dressed up as “Duckie,” Cryer’s classic Pretty in Pink character. Unfortunately, people mistook him for a more known John Hughes character, Ferris Bueller. Someone will finally love you, Duckie! Maybe just not on Two and a Half Men.