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Best of 2014: The best and worst lyrics of the year

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Only Nicki Minaj

When it comes to pop lyrics, every year has its ups and downs, and 2014 seemed to have higher highs and lower lows than most. We had the vivid imagery of Pharrell’s “Me and 20 girls doing yoga naked” from Future’s “Move That Dope” that reminded us of everything we fell in love with Pharrell for in the first place, and the sublime simplicity of Bobby Shmurda’s “About a week agooooo.” Then again we had the ugly “Loyal” following us everywhere, as well as Kevin Gates’s domestic violence apologia “Posed to Love Me” that counteracted most of those happy feelings.

After a wild and weird year in pop, we’ve picked five of the best and five of the worst lines that came our way.

 THE BEST:

“I eat my dinner in my bathtub / Then I go to sex clubs / Watching freaky people gettin’ it on” – Tove Lo, “Habits (Stay High)”

Easily one of the most interesting images to come out of a pop singer’s mouth this year.

“When Straw-Ber-Rita dreams turn to champagne reality” – iLoveMakonnen, “I Don’t Sell Molly No More”

Atlanta’s strangest and most fascinating new rapper combines a reference to a popular alcopop and a skewed quote of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous to create an evocative metaphor for rising above the struggle.

“Of course sometimes shit go down / When it’s a billion dollars on an elevator” – Beyonce, “***Flawless (Remix)”

With a crafty bit of lyrical judo Bey turned the bit of dirty laundry that obsessed the celebrity-industrial complex for weeks this summer into a straight flex. It’s such a good line that she went ahead and said it twice.

“Turn down for what?” – DJ Snake & Lil Jon, “Turn Down for What”

An entire life philosophy summed up in four little syllables.

“I never f—ed Wayne, I never f–ed Drake” – Nicki Minaj, “Only”

The old Nicki was willing to tolerate (or even encourage) the gossip that she slept her way to fame, but the boss Nicki of today puts those rumors to rest while putting her Young Money label mates in their place.

THE WORST:

“And Nicki if you ever tryna f—, just give me the heads-up so I can plan for it” – Drake, “Only”

After spending the whole year writing songs to make himself seem like a world-class blasé playboy, Drake blows it all with a lame comeback and such an extreme level of thirst that it’ll make your mouth dry.

“Somebody’s gotta wear a pretty skirt / Somebody’s gotta be the one to flirt / Somebody’s gotta wanna hold his hand so God made girls” – RaeLynn, “God Made Girls”

Actually no, they don’t gotta.

“I thought everyone was gonna eat the chips / Turns out I’m the only one who double dipped” – Robin Thicke “Black Tar Cloud”

If Robin Thicke’s idea of poetic imagery is comparing his record of infidelity to a Seinfeld joke it’s no wonder Paula didn’t succeed in winning his wife back.

“Why you gotta be so rude? Don’t you know I’m human too?” – Magic!, “Rude”

Probably the whiniest line of the year, even without Magic! front man Nasri’s almost superhumanly nasal inflection.

“I love your lies, I’ll eat ’em up / But don’t deny the animal / That comes alive when I’m inside you” – Maroon 5 “Animals”

Gross, Adam Levine. Gross.

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