What would happen if a member of Tony Stark’s family showed up for dinner at Downton Abbey? Well, according to a bit of fan fiction from writer Gary Whitta, Howard Stark would insult Lord Grantham, offend the dowager countess, and flirt with Lady Mary. (Poor Lady Edith, who, by this account, coins the term “super soldier.” Even in fan fiction, it doesn’t get much better for Edith.)
Whitta, who is writing Gareth Edwards’s upcoming Star Wars film, posted the title page for Downton Abbey: The Stark Ascendancy to Twitter, noting: “I’ve decided to dabble in fan fiction. Here’s a preview. If anyone’s interested in seeing some pages, let me know! :)” Naturally, people were, and he promised that if he got “enough RTs I’ll post the first pages” Monday.
Now we have the beginning of the story—created by Whitta and his wife Leah, written by Whitta—which finds Cora Crawley’s brother Harold Levinson (played by Paul Giamatti in the show) bringing Howard Stark to the estate, where Stark pitches the Crawleys on his Arc Reactor. He also creates general hubbub among the family as he takes to calling Robert Crawley (a.k.a. Lord Grantham) “Bob” and says “ass” in front of the Dowager Countess.
Here’s a sample interaction between Howard and the scheming Thomas Barrow.
STARK: Even our state governor doesn’t have guys dressed up like penguins bringing him food on a silver plate. If I ever make it rich I gotta get me one of these. One with a real English-sounding name. You know, something classy. What’s your name?
BARROW: Barrow, sir.
STARK: Nah, that’s not it. Hey, what do you think about “Jarvis”?