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Sound Bites: Nov. 28, 2014

Memorable lines from ”New Girl,” ”Foxcatcher,” and more

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”Jess, guys hate complicated situations. We want the path of least resistance. There’s a flap in our underwear because we are too lazy to pull our underpants down!” —Nick (Jake Johnson), offering dating advice, on New Girl

”First of all, I don’t want you to call me Mr. du Pont or sir anymore. I consider us friends and most of my friends will call me Eagle. Or Golden Eagle. So either of those will work. Or John. Or Coach.” —John du Pont (Steve Carell), trying to make friends with Mark Schultz (Channing Tatum), in Foxcatcher

”It’s HBO, okay? They do all those award-winning shows, right? Like Mad Men.” —Valerie (Lisa Kudrow), defending her new TV role, on The Comeback

”Please believe, men, if you end up in our pants, don’t be surprised if we end up in your chimney.” —Leslie Jones, during ”Weekend Update,” on Saturday Night Live

”Oh! I got accepted to Arizona State.” —Harry (Jeff Daniels), going through his old mail, in Dumb and Dumber To

”The European Space Agency landed a spacecraft on a comet today. Yeah, and it got even crazier when they landed it on Kim Kardashian’s butt.” —Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show

”You hear ‘football coach’ and you expect to meet somebody that screams ‘John Wayne.’ Meanwhile, the only time I’ve screamed ‘the Duke’ is when we argue over who’s the cutest on Downton Abbey.” —Cameron (Eric Stonestreet), talking to a reporter about his job, on Modern Family

”If there was singing, it would be classic rock, not this Andrew Floyd Webber crap!” —Dean (Jensen Ackles), reacting to a biographical musical, on Supernatural

”We’re all related through sex. We all have sexual relations. That is horribly weird.” —Callie (Sara Ramirez), reflecting on all the doctors’ hookups over the years, on Grey’s Anatomy

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