A million leggy models/bartenders/aspiring red carpet hosts are having a little cry on the inside as George Clooney prepares to marry lawyer Amal Alamuddin in a reported 4-day fete in Venice. WE tv shares the same sentiment as they announced a “Bye George!” Roseanne marathon, airing Clooney-centric Roseanne episodes starting Sunday, Sept. 28, at 10 a.m. E.T. To those around the world who are still holding a candle for the Cloonz, here’s a nostalgic look back at some of Clooney’s great romantic roles in past and recent history.
E/R (1984-1985) – Dr. Mark “Ace” Kolmar
Few know that Clooney appeared in a totally different E/R, a sitcom in which Clooney played the bro-doctor, Mark “Ace” Kolmar, introducing audiences to a frat boy-styled, mulleted Clooney that the world has collectively chosen to forget. Sure, he plays a total tool, but this role also clued everyone into the lovable scamp that Clooney is and will always be. On a side note, Kolmar shows up in the show wearing sunglasses indoors and while examining patients (tool). Surely, there must be a malpractice suit in there somewhere.
Roseanne (1988-1991) – Booker Brooks
Clooney went from bro-ing it out in the emergency room to becoming Wellman Plastics foreman Booker Brooks in Roseanne. Brooks had a dalliance with Jackie (Laurie Metcalf), but only made a few scant appearances over the years as he was busy acting in bomb after bomb after bomb. If uptight and tight-butted Clooney is your thang, then Booker Brooks is for you.
ER (1994-1999, 2004) – Doug Ross
Audiences should hate Doug Ross. After all, he caused Nurse Carol Hathaway (Julianna Margulies) to almost kill herself in the pilot because of his womanizing ways. Instead, the audience fell madly in love with Ross (it’s probably the haircut) and rooted for the couple to reunite and last, all the way to its final fifteenth season.
One Fine Day (1996) – Jack Taylor
With certifiable hunk status from ER, Clooney embarked on the romantic comedy route with One Fine Day, in which he plays single father Jack Taylor who – surprise – falls for fellow single parent Melanie Parker (Michelle Pfeiffer). This film may be one of the few times Clooney is seen as a lovable dad, since he’s not entirely fond of the daddy route.
Batman & Robin (1997) – Batman/Bruce Wayne
Okay, most audiences and critics laughed off Clooney’s role as the nippled Batman in the incredibly-panned Batman & Robin. However, this is the closest thing that people have to viewing Clooney through a superhero lens. Yes, the dialogue is cheesy and yes, the superfluous nipples on the Batman suit are weird, but what came out of this movie was the numerous times that Clooney has poked fun at himself for starring in this epic disaster. See: Clooney winning his best supporting actor Oscar in 2006 for Syriana.
Out of Sight (1998) – Jack Foley
George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez headlining a movie together sounds like it could have turned into a total Bennifer disaster. However, Clooney’s role as bank robber Jack Foley in this Steven Soderbergh-directed flick may have been his steamiest role to date, and that’s not hyperbole. Watch the video above to see Clooney clearing his pores out in a steamy bath, which obviously leads to a sexual encounter with Lopez’s Karen Sisco.
Ocean’s Eleven, Twelve, and Thirteen (2001, 2004, 2007) – Danny Ocean
Oh Julia, how can you resist that face? Clooney’s turn in the Ocean’s movies as Danny Ocean showed off his smarmy mug, further blurring the lines between fictional and real-life trickster. (For instance: Clooney once took a poop in a cat’s litter box as a prank! A poop!).
Intolerable Cruelty (2003) – Miles
Clooney managed to make being a divorce lawyer and pre-nuptial agreements all hot and stuff, complete with a wall-slamming makeout sessions in this romantic comedy directed by the Coen Brothers.
Up in the Air (2009) – Ryan Bingham
For once, it’s Clooney at the other end of the unrequited love spectrum as he portrays Ryan Bingham, a frequent flyer who corporations hire to fire people. Bleak. However, Bingham manages to find a connection with fellow frequent flyer Alex (Vera Farmiga), but (spoiler alert blaring really loudly) turns out, she’s married. Cue sullen Clooney face and a bajillion Clooney fans bawling in the peanut gallery.
Gravity (2013) – Matt Kowalski
Clooney’s most recent foray in film wasn’t really a romantic role, though it did reinforce the notion that Clooney would “rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.” Goodbye bachelor Clooney. It’s been a good run.