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Sound Bites: Sept. 12, 2014

Memorable lines from ”Top Chef Duels,” ”Big Brother,” and more

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”I didn’t even know you were a lesbian. I thought you were married to Ryan Seacrest.” —Chelsea Handler, to Ellen DeGeneres, in the series finale of Chelsea Lately

”It’s a version of turducken — it’s a pheasant and a duck, so it’s…a phucken.” —Stefan Richter, explaining his dish, on Top Chef Duels

”When you’re so genius, and you’re so smart, you have to be thinkin’ while you’re not thinkin’.” —Caleb on Big Brother

”This is why I just wanted to do Dancing With the Stars.” —Clare, deciding to pack her bags and leave, on Bachelor in Paradise

”It’s all you care about anyway. Sweden. Even in your sleep you’re like, ‘Emma, Emma, Emma, Sweden, Volvo, IKEA, herring.”’ —Aubrey (Aubrey Plaza), telling Bruce he should move back to Sweden, on Welcome to Sweden

”I don’t have a lot of female friends. I think women are intimidated by me because I have mean cartoon eyebrows.” —Gretchen (Aya Cash) on You’re the Worst

”And if someone can get the cast of Call The Midwife to attend my UK book event, well, your reward awaits you in heaven <3'' —Lena Dunham on Twitter

”Actually, it would wake my mother from the dead.” —Tim Gunn, after Dita Von Teese joked that they were getting married, on Project Runway