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When Stars Attack...With Songs

Last week, Lily Allen’s new single, “Sheezus,” made headlines for calling out Gaga, Rihanna, Katy, Beyoncé, and Lorde — and reminded us how much the music world can be like a giant high school bathroom wall. Read on for some of the best sonic beatdowns in the business (minus rap, only because we’d need about eight more pages).

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Pop
Lily Allen
”Sheezus” 2014
“We’re all watching Gaga, LOL like haha/Dying for the art, so really she’s a martyr…. Give me that crown, bitch”
Other Targets: Rihanna, Katy Perry, Beyoncé, Lorde
Burn Factor: [3]

Mariah Carey
”Obsessed” 2009
“Got you all fired up with your Napoleon complex/Seein’ right through you like you’re bathin’ in Windex/ Boy, why you so obsessed with me?”
Alleged Target: Eminem
Burn Factor: [4]

Taylor Swift
”Dear John” 2010
“And I lived in your chess game/But you changed the rules every day/Wonderin’ which version of you I might get on the phone”
Alleged Target: John Mayer
Burn Factor: [4]

Gwen Stefani
”Hollaback Girl” 2005
“I heard that you were talking s—/And you didn’t think that I would hear it…. So I’m ready to attack/Gonna lead the pack”
Alleged Target: Courtney Love
Burn Factor: [3½]

Justin Timberlake
”Cry Me a River” 2002
“You don’t have to say what you did/I already know, I found out from him/Now there’s just no chance for you and me/There’ll never be”
Alleged Target: Britney Spears
Burn Factor: [4½]

Rock
Foo Fighters
”I’ll Stick Around” 1995
“How could it be/I’m the only one who sees your rehearsed insanity/I still refused all the methods you abused/It’s all right if you’re confused”
Confirmed Target: Courtney Love
Burn Factor: [4½]

Pavement
”Range Life” 1995
“On tour with the Smashing Pumpkins/Nature kids, they don’t have no function/I don’t understand what they mean/And I could really give a f—“
Confirmed Target: Smashing Pumpkins
Burn Factor: [4]

Aerosmith
”Dude (Looks Like a Lady)” 1987
“Ooh, what a funky lady/Ooh, she like it, like it, like it like that/Ooh, he was a lady/Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady”
Confirmed Target: Mötley Crüe
Burn Factor: [2½]

John Lennon
”How Do You Sleep?” 1971
“Those freaks was right when they said you was dead/The one mistake you made was in your head/How do you sleep?”
Confirmed Target: Paul McCartney
Burn Factor: [5]

Lynyrd Skynyrd
”Sweet Home Alabama” 1974
“Well, I heard ol’ Neil put her down/Well, I hope Neil Young will remember/A Southern man don’t need him around anyhow”
Confirmed Target: Neil Young
Burn Factor: [4]

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