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Goonies! We Map the Sequel

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1. The Goon Docks
Looking for adventure, a new generation of Goonies — the children of Mikey, Brand, Chunk, Mouth, Andy, Stef, and Data, perhaps played by the likes of Elle Fanning, Kodi Smit-McPhee, and Abigail Breslin — have gathered in the sleepy seaside town of Astoria, Ore.

2. Sloth & Chunk’s House
The kiddies pay a visit to Uncle Sloth and Uncle Chunk, who now live together. In the attic, the gang finds an old baseball cap, a pair of wire-rim glasses, and a newspaper clipping that says Steven Spielberg once filmed in the town.

3. The Local Library
In the archival catacombs of the Oregon Film Museum, they discover a map to the legendary Spielberg Scripts, a cache of unproduced sequels written by Spielberg, including E.T. 2, Hook 2, and Amistad Too.

4. The Seaside Cliff
Following the map’s instructions, they attach Spielberg’s glasses to a tripod. When the sun shines through the lenses, it reveals the location of the old Goonies set, thought to be lost to time.

5. The Caverns
In the organ room, the neo-Goonies must complete the secret musical code to avoid being crushed. It turns out to be the five-note sequence from Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

6. The Pirate Ship
While climbing the old pirate-ship set piece, the Goonies find they’re not the only ones after the Spielberg treasure. They battle the terrifying Jeffrey Katzenberg and David Geffen, who want to produce the sequel scripts themselves.

[X] On The Beach
The gang escapes, but all the scripts have been destroyed in the scuffle. Except, wait, what’s this?! The script for The Goonies 3? Sequels never say die!

To Be Continued…

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