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'Mindy Project' recap: An officer and a gynecologist

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Mindy Project 01
Beth Dubber/Fox

“When I need to take the Pill/ I look upon the windowsill…”

Mindy Lahiri and her cohorts dove headfirst last night into what is (somehow?) one of the big political debates of 2014: Birth control access! Dr. Lahiri was counseling an 18-year-old who wanted a prescription for the Pill without telling her overprotective detective father (Tim Daly), who proceeded to find out anyway, and then storm into Mindy’s office to demand answers. “You just watch yourself, you sex-crazed quack. I could get you on the no-fly list like that,” Detective Lang threatened.

Mindy, already on a no-fly list and never one for letting other people win an argument, chased him out of the building and proceeded to give him a piece of her mind. “Where do you get off on coming into my office and yelling about your outdated views on birth control? Who do you think you are, Rick Santorum? Obviously not, because you’re not hot.” (Real talk: Tim Daly is totally hotter than Santorum.) Get it, girl. On second thought, maybe we shouldn’t be cheering in the streets just yet. Detective Lang wrote her a ticket for Public Female Hysteria. Turns out it’s still on the books.

I’ve said this before, but I love whenever this show gets into anything about reproductive healthcare. It’s an issue full of so many misconceptions and inaccurate information, and even though the show consistently presents everything in a teasing, goofy way, at the end of the day, it’s still a primetime program about an OBGYN practice and all the topics – like birth control access for teens or medical assistance for inmates – that come along with that. You’re just not going to see that on New Girl or Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

Of course, in addition to healthcare, this show is still very much about the #hot #guys, so pushing aside the soapbox, let’s get right into the big Mindy and Danny scene, shall we? Still fuming from her Public Female Hysteria citation, Danny encouraged her in the break room to tell him about her problems (he just likes helping her out!). She explained her frustrations, but talk quickly devolved (up-volved?) into a chat about how she’s done with guys — and girls too, which led to the best exchange of the evening:

Mindy: I can take a bra off like that. [snaps fingers]

Danny: So can I.

Mindy: Not in my experience.

Teasing is back! They’re friends! Everyone rejoice! (Not too much, though. I’m still pulling for them to get back to coupledom by season finale time.)

Elsewhere, the teenage patient (Jenny) decided she wanted to take control of her life and stop letting men — like boyfriends or fathers — run things. So, she was going to move in with Mindy! (Don’t worry; just for the rest of spring break). Mindy, always ready to see herself as a cool big sister, whether it’s with her own brother or woman prisoners, agreed, and even allowed her to throw a party: To paraphrase Regina George’s mom: Mindy’s not a regular doctor, she’s a cool doctor.

The sex party got a bit farcical (Morgan in handcuffs, youths drinking in red [solo] cups), but it led to the most wonderful of wonderful scenes, so I’m going to let it slide. When the party got out of control, Mindy called Jenny’s dad. When her dad was busting kids for maybe having cocaine on them, Mindy and Jenny had a really sweet heart to heart. “The only downside of being a woman who can make her own decisions is that you have to make good decisions,” Mindy, a woman who was picking steak out of her teeth just days ago, explained. “I guess I just wish there were guys interested in me so I could make any decision at all,” Jenny, speaking for all single teenagers, replied. The emotional core is alive and well, you guys.

I must have forgotten which show I was watching, because I didn’t see Mindy and Detective Lang as a couple right away (even though this episode was called, duh, “An Officer and a Gynecologist). But, of course, after overhearing the charming speech to his daughter, it’s no wonder Detective Lang wanted to get with Mindy. Mindy seemed into it, too — just as long as she doesn’t have to pay that bribery ticket.

Elsewhere, when Danny wasn’t being a sounding board for Mindy and realizing he’s Definitely, Maybe in love with her (Surprisingly excellent rom-com, by the way), he was attempting to pass as Jewish so he could get the practice more patients. Rabbi David Adler (Peter MacNicol) mistakenly thought Danny was the Dr. Shulman of Shulman & Associates, and invited him to Shabbat dinner where, if he impresses, Adler promised to refer his congregation to Danny’s practice. So – with an assist from Peter – Danny decided Fake Jewish is what he will be. And you thought the Deslaurier brothers were sneaky. Mazel!

Naturally, since Peter was involved things don’t go according to plan, and  it all culminated with the rabbi’s son seeing Peter urinating and realizing he’s not, err, properly Jewish. The whole farce is worth it, though, because A.) Viewers got to see Danny attempt to sing a prayer, and B.) There was another great scene with Mindy and Danny. After the ill-fated Shabbat dinner, Rabbi Adler saw the two of them together on the subway, assumed Mindy is Peter’s sister Sally, and told Danny he could tell the two of them were really in love. Also, “there’s nothing more Jewish than dating an Asian girl. Welcome to the tribe, Daniel.”

Lingering Bear Claws:

-“From the tall-and-white to the short-and-white…” Mindy dishing some boyfriend #realtalk

-“Do I look like I’ve had kids? I have the hips of an eleven-year-old boy.”

-“You know what encourages sex? Alcohol, hotness, black music.”

-“My cardiologist said I’ll be dead at 50.”

-+100 House Points to Mindy for the Bend It Like Beckham reference

-Danny is breaking up with Sally. About time, if he wants to keep any semblance of a “good guy” rep

-“The theme of my Bar Mitzvah was Christmas in Connecticut”

-Mindy’s brightly colored outfits were particularly adorable last night

“I tell everyone I lost my virginity at 17 to Christian Slater.”

-Today in Topical References: “I’ll Be Back!” [said in Terminator voice]

-“I’m not a guy. I’m a man.” Wow.