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'Mindy Project' recap: Think like a Peter (and not a Schmidt!)

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Mindy Project
Jordin Althaus/Fox

Mindy and Schmidt, sitting in a tree…Well, not exactly.

But Schmidt, err, Max Greenfield did drop by The Mindy Project Tuesday night and boy was he a welcome surprise. Let’s back up. Mindy was still pretty devastated Danny broke up with her last week (Aren’t we all?). But, as a regular Glamour/Cosmo reader, she knew she needed to get back out there and go on some dates, including one with Betsy’s friend, the nice but unbelievably dull Phil (Adam Shapiro). (Phil = The reason the Lemon Law should be a real thing). Despite having a less-than-stellar time, Mindy was unable to end the relationship and feared she might wind up marrying Phil, because really, what else is out there?

Cue an emotional crisis as observed by lying down on the floor of her office (BEEN THERE). She’s feeling particularly blue because Danny — complete with a very sexy post-breakup haircut — offered to listen to her problems and give her advice, but she smartly declined and instead called in Peter. Peter told her she’s got to start “thinking like a Peter” and being a little selfish when it come to dating. Seriously, has she learned nothing from Wolf of Wall Street? At some point, she’s going to have to try and help herself. (She wasn’t so good at breaking up with Cliff, either. This is what happens when people always dump you first!)

One Peter-assisted radio silence later, and Mindy successfully ended things with Phil. She then agreed to accompany Peter to a bar, where right away she noticed one super-suave dude…Mr. Max Greenfield, a.k.a Lee, in a scarf [Note: For the remainder of this recap, it’s helpful to have Taylor Swift’s “I Knew You Were Trouble” playing in the background.] Mindy ordered whiskey, and then spit it out because whiskey is disgusting. Lee is so charmed by the ensuing banter (Mindy has never murdered a person before!) he asked her to leave with him. Peter was right (for once): Playing hard to get can work.

Sadly, but not surprisingly, the next morning, Lee is nowhere to be found. [i.e: “And he’s longggggg gone/when he’s nexxxxxt to me/ and I realized/ he forgot his scarf.”] Mindy thought because he left his scarf behind, he wanted her to find him again, like some sort of fractured Cinderella. Despite Peter trying to bring some reality to the situation, Mindy followed her rom-com-loving heart to Lee’s school. (Remember: This charmer is a first-grade teacher), and confronted him. Peter was right (again): He did just accidentally leave his scarf. Also, he’s married! He’s got a wedding ring band and everything. Relationship: Over. Criminal charges: Possibly pending. Scared first graders: Dozens.

While Mindy was busy getting back out there this episode, Danny was weirdly wallowing…although I’m sure he wouldn’t call it that. Instead, he’s like your sad friend who’s constantly wondering what everyone is up to, and can he tag along, maybe? He found himself missing Mindy’s drama. (Turns out, he loved listening to her problems.) I love that the show is going this route — if Danny is going to break Mindy’s heart, then the least they can do is have Danny realize he maybe made a huge mistake. Does this mean #ReunionByFinale is going to happen? Fingers crossed.

In Danny’s quest to find some Mindy-esque drama, he accidentally waded into some of his own: He walked in on Tamra and Morgan making out in the pantry. I repeat: Tamra and an underwear-clad Morgan were making out in the pantry. Tamra dumbly allowed Danny to help her, and he suggested a Pro/Con list for staying with Ray Ron. (This one female doctor he knows always does that for her problems.) Pro: Tattoo. Con: Morgan is cute and nice. Plus: Morgan may be an ex-con, but that’s a pro. All pros, no cons; Morgan wins!

A guilty-feeling Morgan dragged Danny to Ray Ron’s job to apologize. But Ray Ron (Drake & Josh‘s JOSH PECK!) was more than fine with Tamra and Morgan kissing, as long as there was no ‘tration! (Gross.) In fact, he wanted to thank Danny for telling Tamra to stay with him. And with that, now Morgan‘s heart is broken — by a friend, which is the very worst kind of heartbreak. Danny tried to apologize, but it fell on deaf ears. “Oh, I’m good,” Morgan declared on the subway ride home after Danny wondered if the two were cool. “Good at being mad at you.” Will Dr. Castellano ever get back to being Dr. C? This is like the Mindy/Danny break up, round 2. Stop playing with my heart!

Happily, this episode highlighted that Danny –despite evidence to the contrary last week — is very torn up about no longer having Mindy as a minute-to-minute presence in his life; a necessary, good step for the program. If fans are going to root for the two together, Danny needs to not present as a jerk. I mean, people will cheer for him regardless; we’ve all seen Hugh Grant movies. But it would be nice if we could believe he was a decent person underneath all the gruff. (UPDATE: I missed that the woman Danny was in bed with at the end was Peter’s sister. So…maybe he’s not the most decent person yet?)

Other positive developments: Both Peter and Morgan got a a bit more three-dimensional tonight. Peter is now no longer just the skeezy guy at the office. I predict we’ll meet a girlfriend of his before too long (just don’t let it be Betsy). As for Morgan, A.) Look who is getting around! B.) He worships all the doctors so much, it was nice to see he’s capable of being hurt. Morgan makes me laugh, but this is the first time I remember actually caring about him in quite some time. Here’s hoping Mindy can swing in there and help Danny make things up to Morgan — and maybe remind Danny she’s pretty great as well. (And kind of mean. But she doesn’t want people to know that.)

Just some parting thoughts…

“So you went on a coffee date with a loser. All coffee dates are with losers.”

“You spend way too much time defending Jordan Belfort!”

“A gentleman kisses and tells.”

“Every part of it was an accident.”

“You deserve somebody great. Or at least someone kind of rich. Or kind of fun and probably gay.”

“Have you seen a pair of panties anywhere because I think I dropped mine. The elastic on the waist wore off.”

“Office romances never work…like foreign cars.”

“Getting a refill on sexy? Because your cup already runneth over.”

“You’re a romantic. And that’s good. It just means you’ll wind up dating a few extra losers, weirdos, and pervs.”

What did you think of last night’s episode? Happy Danny is missing Mindy? Thrilled Peter has realized he’s kind of the worst? Suddenly shipping Tamgan? Tell me what you thought in the comments — remember, there’s no back door. There’s no escaping me.