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Sound Bites: April 18/25, 2014

Memorable lines from ”The Big Bang Theory,” ”The Mindy Project,” and more

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“With the Xbox One, I can control my entire entertainment system using voice commands. Up until now, I’ve had to use Leonard.” —Sheldon (Jim Parsons) on The Big Bang Theory

“You can’t die — you have so much to live for. My birthday’s coming up. We haven’t even talked about what you’re gonna get me.” —Mindy (Mindy Kaling), to a sick Danny (Chris Messina), on The Mindy Project

“I thought you’d never ask… because we’re nearing 40.” —Ben (Adam Scott), following Leslie’s (Amy Poehler) invitation to the prom, on Parks and Recreation

“I’ve seen Reality Bites, all right? I think I get the agenda of this generation.” —Stan (Seth MacFarlane), explaining why he’s qualified to infiltrate the Occupy movement, on American Dad

“Perhaps I should just let Joffrey choose it for me. End up with a string of dead sparrow heads around my neck.” —Margaery (Natalie Dormer), discussing her wedding necklace options, on Game of Thrones

“I think I would remember if my mother told me she had a love child with a scarecrow.” —Regina (Lana Parrilla), denying she’s the sister of the Wicked Witch of the West (Rebecca Mader), on Once Upon a Time

“I’m 95. I’m not dead.” —Captain America (Chris Evans), to Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), in Captain America: The Winter Soldier

“Here’s a bunch of phrases I need translated into her native tongue so I can get a little of that native tongue.” —Barry (Troy Gentile), trying to woo a French girl, on The Goldbergs

“Yesterday, David Letterman announced that he is retiring from the Late Show in 2015. I couldn’t believe it. And neither could my parents. They were like, ‘Guess we’ll have to start watching you now.'” —Jimmy Fallon, weighing in on David Letterman’s retirement, on The Tonight Show