For a very specific demographic, the ultimate news was just announced: Lindsay Lohan will appear on Watch What Happens Live! The episode will air next Thursday, April 17, EW has confirmed.
“This one is a long time coming. We love Lindsay and plan to celebrate the s@%# out of her!” host/executive producer Andy Cohen told E!.
Fans of the show know this has the potential to be quite the memorable episode. Not only is the live program proudly booze-soaked (a tradition they will obviously (right?) forgo for the evening), but the program’s cheeky charm thrives on Cohen asking the guests just-this-side-of-inappropriate questions. Lohan, for all her faults, has always proven herself adept on the talk show circuit, reliably ready with a cigarette smoke-assisted throaty laugh and a charming story. (Just witness her on the Tonight Show.) If she shows up with gossip, the episode will be can’t-miss. Just think of the Ooooooooprah intel!
Most intriguing, of course, is discovering what personalized-to-them specific games Cohen will play with Lohan. The Watch What Happens Live games typically have a pun-y title, and usually play on some embarrassing fact or role from their past. With that in mind, I brainstormed just a few Cohen could whip out come Thursday night when he prepares to “celebrate the s@%# out of her.”
–I Know Who Bleeped Me: (Or: Match-ete) Here’s a great way for Andy Cohen to get into the it’s-clearly-nobody’s-business-but-we-definitely-want-to-know-about-it alleged sex list. Put up some of the names on a screen, and have her cross out a few — while leaving one or two up there. Sure, Lohan could dismiss the it’s-gotta-be-fake compilation as RUMORS outright, but if she’s smart, this is a great opportunity for her to tease a few of her former paramours…just a little.
–Confessions of a Drama Queen: Time for the Mean Girls gossip you’re here for! She can level with us about what really went on behind-the-scenes of Mean Girls, or what an early Megan Fox was like (never forget: Fox was the nemesis in Teenage Drama Queen). Have Cohen give her a name, and then she’s got to give viewers some kind of confession from their time on set. Lily Tomlin, Meryl Streep, Jane Fonda, Tina Fey, and even Chris Pine all worked with her. This could be good, you guys.
–Get A Clue or Just My Luck: Here’s the part of the show where Lohan can make fun of her legal battles — and also point out that paparazzi/court systems/the world may have been picking on her a bit. Cohen will bring up something that happened in her past (Like that time she may or may not have robbed a jewelry store), and then Lohan can claim either “Get A Clue!,” which means she should have known better, or “Just My Luck” which means it wasn’t her fault.
–Life-Size Closet: If you’re watching Lindsay on OWN, you know A.) Sobriety might be a sliding scale, but also: B.) Lindsay Lohan has so much stuff and nowhere to put it. There was a not-insignificant amount of time spent in a previous episode where she was just going through boxes in her storage unit and lamenting the lack of room. It was weirdly compelling? I want a puzzle game where the pieces are drawings of props from previous movies (a baby for Labor Pains, a guitar for Freaky Friday), and she’s got :30 seconds to fit all the pieces into a puzzle that’s shaped like a closet. Mazels for everybody!
Let’s be real: As long as the show stays away from anything “fully loaded” this should be the most enjoyable Lohan viewing since she was named Spring Fling Queen.