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'Expendables 3': Ranking the character posters (plus new trailer!)

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The Expendables 3 hits theaters Aug. 15, but in the meantime, there are 16 character portraits to entertain you. The only thing that would make their message clearer — think of this as the ultimate summer popcorn movie! — is if there were a Real Genius-level explosion behind each of them. Who’s happiest in these posters? Let’s see. Then check out the new “roll call” trailer.

1. Obviously, Terry Crews wins. He probably would’ve shot popcorn out of that gun if you’d asked him to. Which is why we look forward to seeing him on the media tour.

Chris Brown

2. Antonio Banderas. It’s all about the hat.

Adrien Brody

3. Ronda Rousey. The badass costume manages to incorporate the sexy cutout fashion trend.

Lisa Kudrow

4. Dolph Lundgren. It’s about time he comes off the coolest.

Evan Rachel Wood

5. Jet Li. A man who travels light.

Rik Mayall

6. Jason Statham. My mother is going to Facebook this photo immediately.

Dilated Peoples

7. Randy Couture. The rolled-up sleeves show off his bicep when really, all we can stare at is his forearms.

TRACY MORGAN 01

8. Glen Powell. He must have really made an impression as Trader #1 in The Dark Knight Rises.

NATE ESTIMADA

9. Victor Ortiz. The superhero-esque bulletproof vest is the best.

Caleb Bankston

10. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Wearing that stubble well.

Aereo

11. Harrison Ford. Is that a leather onesie? 

Avicii

12. Kelsey Grammer. He had to look this serious to compensate for his fishing attire.

Terry Richards

13. Kellan Lutz. He’s either serious about protecting the family jewels or he just wet himself.

Mary Rodgers

14. Sylvester Stallone. Those veins in his arms look like they hurt.

V STIVIANO

15. Wesley Snipes. We’re thinking he’s good with knives.

Alyssa Milano, Charmed, ...

16. Mel Gibson. The big bad can’t smile.

MESHACH TAYLOR