1. President Obama appears on Ellen via satellite to remind Americans to sign up for health care
Like his Between Two Ferns spot, this one helped to raise awareness — but only $2.37 in tips for Obama when Ellen passed around Pharrell’s hat in the audience.
2. MyNetworkTV to air family-friendly edited version of The Walking Dead this fall
Also coming to the network: Masters of Sexual Innuendo and 16 and Just a Bit Bloated.
3. HBO reportedly plotting to revive comedy The Comeback
Shhhhh! Keep it down! You want Arli$$ to hear?
4. American Horror Story season 4 to be set at freak show
They want to do something less freakish than the previous seasons.
5. Duck Dynasty March 19 ratings sink to lowest numbers in 16 months
More like Duck Dyingnasty! [Goes up for high five, gets hand shot off by Robertson family]
6. ”Heartbroken” Jon Gosselin on TLC’s plans to air special that catches up with Kate plus eight: ”I hope no one watches the show”
Totally got your back, Jon.
7. Khloé Kardashian quips: ”My camel toe is a gift from me to you”
Uh, thank you. No, it’s great! Just curious: What’s your return policy? And may I speak with your supervisor?
8. Isaac Hanson welcomes third child
This can mean only one of two things: (1) A new Hanson trio will rise. (2) We are so old.
9. Justin Bieber posts Instagram photo of himself re-creating iconic James Dean shot
Call him by his new nickname: Rebel Without Applause.
10. Philadelphia pub to serve beer brewed with goat brains for Walking Dead finale
If you want a more family-friendly beverage, no worries: A nearby grade school is serving Yoo-hoo mixed with goat brains.