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Sound Bites: March 28, 2014

Memorable lines from Justin Bieber, ”Bob’s Burgers,” and more

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“Wouldn’t be the first flying monkey I’ve dated.” —Emma (Jennifer Morrison), whose ex-boyfriend is actually a flying monkey, on Once Upon a Time

“I think that I was detrimental to my own career.” —Justin Bieber, trying to say he was instrumental to his success, during a deposition

“You know a lot about bat mitzvahs for someone who thought Hanukkah was Han Solo and Chewbacca’s baby.” —Louise (Kristen Schaal), to Tina (Dan Mintz), on Bob’s Burgers

“We all know the egg came first ’cause dinosaurs had eggs, and they were before the chickens, so…” —LJ, explaining the chicken-or-egg quandary, on Survivor

“You, an underdog? You look like a f—ing Kennedy!” —Patti LuPone, to Elijah (Andrew Rannells), on Girls

“Just look at the flowers, Lizzie. Just look at the flowers.” —Carol (Melissa McBride), to Lizzie (Brighton Sharbino), on The Walking Dead

“You weren’t planning on carrying me through the airport, were you?” —Veronica (Kristen Bell) to Logan (Jason Dohring), who greets her at the gate in his Navy uniform, in Veronica Mars

“A man is claiming that he was badly injured after falling off a gigantic tongue slide used on the stage for Miley Cyrus’ tour. He’s now suing the company that built the slide for twerkmen’s comp.” —Seth Meyers on Late Night With Seth Meyers

“You better come over here and hug your mama before I punch you in the face.” —Beverly (Wendi McLendon-Covey) to Erica (Hayley Orrantia), after she gets a high score on her practice SAT, on The Goldbergs