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Hit List: February 28, 2014

Shia LaBeouf cries for art, Charlie Sheen gets engaged (again), and more

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1. Shia LaBeouf stages performance-art installation called #IAMSORRY in which he cries while wearing paper bag
#allisforgiven #wellexceptforthekingdomofthecrystalskull

2. Billy Ray Cyrus and Buck 22 release hip-hop sequel to ”Achy Breaky Heart”
Stop snickering, Brad Paisley and LL Cool J. This changes nothing.

3. Netflix acquires final season of Star Wars animated series The Clone Wars, which never aired after show was canceled by Lucasfilm
“If you strike me down, I shall become more binge-able than you can possibly imagine.”

4. With 96 percent ”fresh” rating on Rotten Tomatoes, The LEGO Movie grabs $64 million more in second week at No. 1, has tallied $144 million so far
Best-case scenario: The quality bar has been forever raised for toy-tie-in films. Worst case? Furby vs. Tamagotchi.

5. Jeremy Piven says: ”I like Tom Hardy’s balls”
And I like not knowing any more context and continuing right along…

6. Colin Farrell says that having sex while sober was ”one of the most terrifying moments of my life”
That’s funny, Kris Jenner described sex with Bruce Jenner the same way.

7. Pasadena hotel offering $100K engagement package to replicate Kanye West’s proposal to Kim Kardashian
There are a lot worse ways to spend $100,000… Okay, there are a few worse ways to spend $100,000… Okay, when I think of one worse way, I’ll let you know.

8. Thrice-married Charlie Sheen engaged to former adult-film star
Not triplet porn stars? Huh. Maybe he really is ready to settle down.

9. Comcast announces plans to buy Time Warner Cable for $45.2 billion in stock
The deal is expected to receive regulatory approval sometime between 8 a.m. and 4 p.m. two weeks from Tuesday.