As exciting as NBC’s first night of Olympics coverage was — Slopestyle! Evgeni Plushenko! Scott Hamilton yelling! Evgeni Plushenko! The Dufour-Lapointe sisters! Evgeni Plushenko!!! — it was marred by one unfortunate development: Bob Costas’ nasty case of pinkeye. Costas was a trouper to appear onscreen despite his swollen lid… but in the immortal words of Valerie Cherish, after a long day at work, we don’t want to see that.
The obvious solution? A series of festive eyepatches, designed to take advantage of whatever Costas may be reporting on that day (figure skating; gay-rights issues; surprise upset in the Quidditch finals). You know, something like this:
You can thank us later, America.