Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t seen the January 28th episode of Pretty Little Liars, stop reading now!
I’m not sure about you all, but I’m rethinking every dessert I’ve ever ordered right about now. Who knew that Ezra’s secret identity could all fall apart over a beer and a piece of Boysenberry pie?! And yet, now we (and Spencer) know: Ezra is Board Shorts! Ali came up with the nickname based on the brand of beer — Board Shorts Ale — that Ezra used to order when they’d meet up at The Hart & The Huntsman bar to discuss her writing. Did anyone else cringe when they kissed in that flashback? I can’t tell if it was more of an age thing or a creepy-Ezra thing, but I’ll let you decide while I catch you up on what else happened in Rosewood.
For starters, Mike and Mona are dating and doing some uncomfortable-to-watch kissing of their own! Aria obviously wasn’t happy to discover that tidbit of information — another week, another woman for Mike — but the new guidance counselor, Jesse, encouraged his students to find “common ground” with each other. Also, he told Aria that she was a little angry inside. Oh, Jesse, you never should’ve come to Rosewood if you think Aria’s anger is the thing to worry about. Around here, the mental problems are plentiful, and it’s highly likely you will be threatened, killed, or chased out of town. Welcome!
So as Aria took out her anger on Maggie, who showed up without Malcolm, making me wonder if Ezra had told the truth last week, Emily was dealing with her high stress levels. Her dad had come home to help her through all the recent trauma, but things only worsened when she nearly stabbed him with a pair of scissors. With that, Daddy Fields decided Emily needed an extracurricular activity, so how about she co-direct the school play with Ezra? Not the best idea. In fact, it was a pretty bad one. When Emily stayed after school to make copies of the script, “A” took the opportunity to attack. Cue the heavy metal and the flashing lights. Emily quickly backed herself into a room and called her dad, who showed up in just enough time to scale the freakin’ school like he was Spider-man and save his daughter. Mr. Fields definitely wins the Liam Neeson award for Rosewood dad I’d want if I were ever taken. Then again, he did kind of have a heart attack afterward, which Neeson would never do. But I guess I’ll let it slide this time.
When “A” wasn’t messing with Emily, he/she was going after Hanna, who, in a shocking turn of events, had taken up reading! She was big into James Patterson’s mystery novels — the Alex Cross series is always a good choice — which caused her to do a number of unexpected things. First, she bumped into Detective Holbrook and the two shared a very intriguing connection (after he apologized for everything). And then, she made a dentist appointment to try and find out how Ali’s body was identified through dental records in the first place. However, just as she grabbed the records, “A” grabbed her, knocked her out, and left a note in her gums. Yes, you read that right. “A” left what had to be the teeniest, tiniest threat in the history of threats in Hanna’s gums. It read: “I told you dead girls can’t smile. Stop looking.”
Good luck with that one, “A,” because Spencer just discovered the mother lode of all leads. After stealing some pills from
Hot Nerd Andrew, Spencer decoded one of Ali’s diary entries. She then headed to Ali’s old hangout, The Hart & The Huntsman, where she ran into Ezra, who was drinking Board Shorts Beer and eating Boysenberry pie. Can someone give me a quick refresher on everything we know about Board Shorts? Was he a part of the night Ali was “murdered?” I remember the Cape May stuff, but I swear I lose track of these people. Also, when did Spencer show Andrew her “side boob?”
In our final “A” scene of the night, the hooded figure shredded the dental records and put them back in the talking bird’s cage. With the return of the bird also came the return of all things Cape May. “A” had a map posted on the wall.
So what did you all think of the episode? What was Mona and Ezra’s meeting about? Do you trust the new guidance counselor? And who can tell me where I can try some Board Shorts Ale? That stuff sounds delicious.