I took way too many photos of my TV screen during the Golden Globes. Some of them made the cut. (Who can say what “some” means, really?) Join me in a visual adventure through Tina and Amy’s gladiating, Martin Scorsese’s unbridled enthusiasm at a vagina joke, Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ gluttony, and more:
Switch hit: Amy Poehler really did look amazing tonight.
Tina and Amy’s Scandal/Blue Steel moment: Chilling!
Lots of cuts to intense Jon Voight in the audience. Is this why Jennifer Lawrence was scared?
Elisabeth Moss (Best Actress in a Mini-Series) had a big night: Flipping off E!’s mani-cam….
…announcing “Holy Sh*t!” …and demonstrating the proper way to use tongue.
More wine, Liv? (Not the pregnant actress. Her character.)
Jonah Hill and Margot Robbie’s “Hey, why are you guys all naked?” deer-in-headlights reaction to a teleprompter meltdown:
Can Alex Ebert (Best Original Score, All Is Lost)’s hair count as an up-do? It’s glorious.
Julia Roberts never leaves this position during any speech — the incredibly intrigued office temp is ready to take on whatever bold new administrative challenges you can throw at her.
Totally off-topic, but Michael Sheen and Kate Beckinsale’s daughter is very Shannen Doherty in Girls Just Want to Have Fun.
Finally, a boozy shot. I wanna be at THIS table.
Amy Adams gently but firmly scolds the un-feeling music robot for playing her off.
Amy Poehler plays Randy, the love child of Tina Fey and…. some celebrity. Who’s the daddy? It’s not Idris Elba. I’m going Zac Efron.
Emma Thompson furthers her status as every woman’s hero by shakily clutching her heels in one hand and a martini in the other.
“Pssssst. Act more excited,” a phantom limb encourages Lorne Michaels following Andy Samberg’s Best Actor in a Comedy win for Brooklyn 99.
Zoe Saldana’s dress has truly inspired me to take up rock climbing.
“On Sundays, we eat hot dogs.” Mean Girls Tina and Amy taunt Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who’d table-hopped from the glamorous Movies section to the concession stand-quality TV section.
Love is blindness: Bono gets more action than anticipated from Poehler as she wins Best Actress in a Comedy for Parks and Rec.
“That was. Lit-ruh-ly? The greatest speech I’ve ever heard.” –Rob Lowe, proud owner of a flattop.
I see sperm on Emma Stone’s dress, but I’m probably just looking for it.
“Herpes…” “Earpiece…” — it’s all the same in zero Gravity! Sandra Bullock delights in director Alfonso Cuarón’s Best Director speech.
“So what did you think of my new album?” –Jared Leto
Martin Scorsese’s extended, full-out cackle after Tina Fey delivers solid gold: “Like a supermodel’s vagina, let’s give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio.”
Johnny Depp’s pocket chain and Hot Topic-y shoes: The dream of the ’90s is alive in L.A. (all the hot guys wear glasses)….
Inside Llewyn Davis’ Oscar Isaac pouring water like a waiter before a commercial.
Matthew McConaughey “dances,” sort of, with Jessica Chastain. Is it a dance? Olympic Curling? Only a true detective would know for sure.
Neck peck! 12 Years a Slave director Steve McQueen gets some love while accepting for Best Picture, Drama.
Red carpet honorable mention: Hayden Panettiere needs to take after her Nashville character and own her fashion sense — Juliette Barnes NEVER shies away from a thong neckline.