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Sound Bites: January 17, 2014

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“Leonard Hofstadter, will you marry me?” —Penny (Kaley Cuoco), popping the question to Leonard (Johnny Galecki), on The Big Bang Theory

“I’m a crusader for being yourself and loving yourself but I’ve found it hard to practice.” —Ke$ha, announcing her decision to enter rehab for an eating disorder

“@TIME shamelessly panders to the ‘My Mom’ demographic.” —Seth Meyers, tweeting about landing the cover of Time magazine

“It’s the job of grandmothers to interfere.” —The Dowager (Maggie Smith), offering advice to the grieving Isobel (Penelope Wilton), on Downton Abbey

“The song ‘XO’ was recorded with the sincerest intention to help heal those who have lost loved ones and to remind us that unexpected things happen.” —Beyoncé, defending the use of audio from the Challenger space-shuttle disaster in a new song

“The woman is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma I’ve had sex with.” —Sherlock (Jonny Lee Miller), on his relationship with Moriarty (Natalie Dormer), on Elementary

“I’ll sign with whoever can convince Channing Tatum to gain the most weight to play me.” —Homer, mulling a Hollywood movie deal, on The Simpsons

“He took the boys, he took the dog, he took the DVR: 166 episodes of Bones just gone.” —Shirley (Yvette Nicole Brown), admitting that her husband had left her again, on Community

“Eat the fish, bitch.” —Barbara Weston (Julia Roberts) to her mother (Meryl Streep), during a heated argument over lunch, in August: Osage County

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