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Sound Bites: December 6, 2013

Memorable lines from ”How I Met Your Mother,” ”Key & Peele,” and more

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“Twenty-five years of getting crane-kicked in the nuts.” —Billy Zabka (as himself), on being abused by strangers because of his history of playing the bad guy in movies, on How I Met Your Mother

“Then they had Samuel L. Jackson… My man had the first purple lightsaber. How you gonna give Mace Windu a grape-flavored lightsaber?” —Jordan Peele, talking about the dearth of black characters in the Star Wars universe, on Key & Peele

“This is a law firm, not Second City.” —Diane (Christine Baranski) to Howard Lyman (Jerry Adler), who is sticking up for the firm’s quirky but morally questionable new attorney, on The Good Wife

“I didn’t twerk, I just went to rehab.” —Demi Lovato, comparing her transition from child star to adult with that of friend Miley Cyrus, during an interview on Katie

“I’m an open book. Everybody always seems to know my secrets before I know them myself.” —Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence), after Finnick (Sam Claflin) asks her if she has any secrets to share, in The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

“I’ll never understand the overflow of hate sent my way. Or maybe thats what entertainment is now. It’s more fun to point & laugh than appreciate the artist.” —Lady Gaga, reacting to negative comments from her critics, on her Facebook page

“I was Clovis. I was Charlemagne. I was one mean son of a bitch.” —Mike Tyson, on running Team Tyson with an iron fist, in Undisputed Truth

“ClosetCon is the premier North American trade show for the closet industry. I stopped goin’ years ago ’cause it’s a trade show for the closet industry.” —Jay (Ed O’Neill), about attending the storage-industry convention, on Modern Family