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A viral video guide for a less awkward Thanksgiving dinner

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So it’s that time of year again, PopWatchers. The table is set. The turkey’s about to come out of the oven. You’ve firmly claimed a spot at the adults table and you’re contemplating stuffing your face with yet another Parker House roll because you can’t think of anything else to say to your supposedly nearest and dearest dinner companions. But your Thanksgiving dinner doesn’t have to consist of force-fed small talk. ‘Tis also time of year to be thankful for… the internet. In addition to your manners, be sure to bring your smartphone to the table, because there’s a viral video for every conversational lull. A distant relative nag about your marginal employment situation? There’s a viral video for that. Constantly ribbed on why you’re not married yet? There’s a viral video for that, too. Read on for our handy dandy guide to viral videos from 2013 that will make Thanksgiving dinner a whole lot less awkward.

1. If your parents ask what’s all the hullabaloo about this Miley Cyrus…

Calmly deflect their attention from anything starting with “t” and ending with “werk” and show them this Jimmy Fallon and The Roots version of “We Can’t Stop.” You’ll make them stop harping on the loose morals of today’s youths and start some serious head-bopping. Pro Tip: Close your smartphone before she unleashes the tongue at the end.

2. If your nosy grandmother asks why you’re still single…

Show them the above video of Tom Hiddleston teaching Cookie Monster about patience. Explain that the dapper British gent is your platonic ideal of boyfriend and you’re simply not settling for any ‘ole bloke off the street. Further evidence of your high mate standards: See him busting some ’90s dance moves and attempting to sing Michael Jackson Video may also serve to distract the rest of your female relatives.

3. If your favorite toddler niece wants to “talk” and you’re tired of watching ‘toons …

Show ’em Sesame Street’s Catching Fire parody. That way both you and he/she will be entertained and you won’t have to use that creepy baby voice again. “May the cookies be ever in your flavor.”

4. If the dinner conversation gets tense because your sister brought up that family secret that no one’s supposed to talk about and there’s about to be mashed potato projectile…

Take a deep breath and show this video of a Russian baby learning to walk on ice. The puffer coat cuteness will melt away any longstanding family animosities. Also see: Jimmy Kimmel’s annual “I ate your Halloween candy” prank.

5. If your not-so-musically-inclined great-aunt wants the family to start singing Christmas carols…

Make sure your smartphone is on high volume and full charge with this slammin’ a capella cover of Lorde’s “Royals.” Now this is what I call millennial caroling.

6. If your mother comments on your ravenous appetite at the table…

Simply say you’re storing up for the winter, your big city ramen diet ain’t cutting it. Also, your manners could be worse, see above.

7. If you’re asked to explain what your freelance [insert creative field here] job actually entails…

Play a Bait and Swift, with the above goat/Taylor Swift mash up. It makes zero sense. It doesn’t have to. Also, successfully circumventing another annual “what exactly do you do for a living?” conversation? Priceless.

8. If you’ve run out of things to talk about with your artsy distant cousin…

Play the above Saturday Night Live Wes Anderson parody. You can talk about the color saturation and themes of tortured genius families and why Helvetica is the best typeface and stuff.

9. If your dad is a football nut and your only sports knowledge is limited to extreme shopping…

Play it cool and let Key & Peele assist in your feeble attempts at father-child bonding with this spoof on college football player intros.

10. If you’re doing the unthinkable and bringing a new significant other to meet your in-laws…

Show them this Funny or Die fake Thanksgivvukah rom-com trailer. It will subvert any interrogation of how you met/their occupation for approximately two minutes and 18 seconds. But also, you should have known better than to bring a date to the awkward dinner Olympics. Heh, will you pass the cornbread stuffing please?

But if your immediate (and distant) clan has an attention span greater than a two minute YouTube clip, do check out our Thanksgiving streaming guide as well.

Happy Turkey Day, PopWatchers! What other viral videos are you going to watch with your family? Let us know in the comments.