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Hit List: November 29, 2013

Ken Burns listens to Taylor Swift, Stevie Nicks to guest on ”American Horror Story: Coven,” and more

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1. Family restaurant Wahlburgers, co-owned by Mark and Donnie Wahlberg, to be focus of A&E reality show
They called it Wahlburgers instead of Burger Nights?

2. Ken Burns says he’s a fan of Taylor Swift
In fact, he’s about to start work on a 16-hour miniseries that will chronicle her next relationship in real time.

3. Two weeks after announcing their breakup, Jonas Brothers perform in Mexico without Kevin
We had a deal, Jonas Brothers, but you kept only 33 percent of it.

4. Disney to adapt The Princess Bride as theatrical production
Have fun storming the stage!

5. Twice-axed The Killing and Last Comic Standing revived
Though combining them to make Last Depressing Damp Detective Standing maybe wasn’t the best strategy.

6. All My Children canceled for second time, according to two stars
[Sobbing, followed by sudden realization and hopeful glance]

7. Stevie Nicks to guest on American Horror Story: Coven
Witch, please!

8. E! to air first-ever Keeping Up With the Kardashians: A Very Merry Christmas special
Plus 10 points for not calling it Kristmas. Minus 1,000 for making a Kardashian Christmas special.

9. Discovery to air survival competition called Dude, You’re Screwed
Which also happens to be the title of a new Spike show on which 10 uninsured men attempt to sign up online for Obamacare.

10. Rutgers offers class on theology of Bruce Springsteen’s songs
Note: Students must have passed “Intermediate Headscarf Techniques With Steven Van Zandt” to enroll.