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'Arrow' react: Can you keep a secret?

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Arrow League Of Assassins
Michael Courtney/The CW

Unlike everyone currently living in Starling City, we don’t have to keep their life-threatening secrets. Instead, we get to talk about them, write about them, and even tweet about them. Crazy, right?! So there’s only one thing we can do right now: Celebrate that freedom in detail. Let’s dig in!

Tonight’s episode kicked off with a flashback to The Queen’s Gambit six years ago, when Sara called her father from Oliver’s bed claiming to be at college and loving her new roommate. Yeah, I bet you were, honey. Sara hung up with her clueless father to make out with her sister’s boyfriend. But just before any more clothes came off — was anyone else irrationally annoyed that she was practically naked and Oliver was fully clothed? — the boat went under, and we watched it sink… but this time, from Sara’s perspective. More on her flashback later.

For now, she woke up from her quite literal nightmare to find herself at the Queen mansion. She was staying there, in the land where nobody sleeps. She caught up with Oliver, where they discussed how some things are better left in the past. Like Oliver and Laurel? Well, speaking of those two not-so-lovebirds, Oliver went down to the prison the next day to discover that Hot Paul had enlisted Laurel as the second chair for the prosecution in Moira’s case. While Oliver stood and gave Laurel the sexiest stink eye known to man, Adam explained that they were offering Moira a plea: life with the possibility of parole. Or she goes to trial, where they fight for the death penalty. Moira asked for a few days to consider, as Oliver chased down his ex to figure out what was up her you-know-what. Turned out, the office had assigned her the case, and she had worked hard to get Moira a plea But before we get any further, Oliver switched the conversation back to Laurel and her fragile state. Ugh. She’s not okay. We get it… and don’t really care.

Back at the mansion, Sara was in the middle of another flashback — floating on what looked like a door before being pulled aboard the Amazo — when Oliver came home. She explained that she wasn’t concerned about telling her family about the island. It was what happened after the island. Hold that moving forgiveness speech, Olly, because some guy dressed like Malcolm Merlin just broke through your window! Oliver and Sara were able to fight him off, but he got away.

And where does Oliver go after being attacked? To his lair, of course. Sara was introduced to both Felicity and Diggle, where she explained that the man who attacked them was [insert name I cannot pronounce and definitely cannot spell]. He was the first, a member of the League of Assassins. As in the urban legend? That’s right, Diggle. The assassins that killed “and vanished like ghosts” are fo’ real fo’ real. And that was where Sara was for all that time. It’s also why she won’t tell her family she’s home, because she’s a murderer. Well, that and the fact that there’s only one way to leave the League, and I’m guessing it has nothing to do with a farewell party.

On that note, Oliver was pulled away to find out that Moira wanted to take the plea, therefore keeping her secrets from her children. Luckily for her, he didn’t have a lot of time to convince her otherwise, because they found the location of their attacker. Out in an old abandoned warehouse, Oliver and Sara took on a few Assassins in what was one impressive fight scene. My favorite part? When the leader called arrows an “ineffective projectile.” It would sound weird if he hadn’t just caught one behind his own head. Yeah, these guys are good. Sara and Oliver made it out alive, but the man who trained Merlin — Spoiler: Merlin was in the League! — threatened Sara’s family instead.

The Lances under attack? We can’t have that! Power Rangers, it’s morphin’ time! Oliver went off to protect Laurel, which meant taking her to dinner as a friend, her reading the signs all kinds of wrong, him rejecting her when she tried to kiss him, and then him finding a League of Assassins knife in her apartment. All of that came with a side of Laurel’s depressing annoying “everybody leaves me” speech. Then she popped more pills. I’ll say it again: Ugh.

Felicity tried to convince Quentin to get out of town, but he was a little too cocky about his cop skills and didn’t feel like running from Assassins, which left Sara with only one option: She threatened Dig — chick’s a badass — and revealed herself to her father! After a moving reunion, Quentin and Sara got some Chinese food, and the ex-detective figured out that she was the girl in the mask. She explained that he was in danger, and that the Assassins wanted to “terminate their objective,” with the objective being her. She then took him to the clock tower so that the fight could happen on her home turf. They shared another adorable father-daughter moment — Quentin gets me every time — before the League member show up to duke it out.

Oliver wasn’t far behind, and somehow, the sort-of exes and the ex-detective beat out three Assassins. Sara snapped the leader’s neck before letting another go, only so that he could tell Ra’s al Ghul that her family is off limits. And just like that, she thought she’d scared off her father, but instead, he called her brave and asked her to come back home. But in order to protect her family, she had to leave, and she needed Quentin to keep her secret. Once again, Quentin had to lose his daughter, which was hard enough without the fact that “everyone leaves me” Laurel was all he had left.

Back to secrets! Oliver and Thea promised Moira that no secret would make them stop loving her, so she turned down the plea offer, which inspired Oliver to pour out a lot of straight vodka for both himself and Diggle — I don’t care how big they are, they’re getting wasted on that much booze — and start sharing some secrets of his own: He told Dig that he wasn’t always on the island, which took us back to the flashback that ended last week’s episode: Oliver seeing Sara. Only this time, he barely got out the words “How are you?” before she kicked him and explained that “Prisoners do not speak.” That was a far cry from the girl we met earlier, when we watched as Dr. Anthony Ivo took her to his quarters on the boat and explained that the people held in cages were how he was going to save the human race. I’m confused. Also, why did no one ever get that girl a T-shirt or something?! What? The experience wasn’t bad enough so she had to do it two-thirds naked, only really covered by an awkward robe? I said it, but you were thinking it.

What did you guys think of tonight’s episode? I was really into all of the Sara-Oliver and Sara-Quentin stuff, so I hope she didn’t really leave. Also, what did that guy mean when he called her Ra’s al Ghul’s prophet? Final thought: Moira’s secrets are totally going to affect Oliver and Thea negatively, right? Even if they said they wouldn’t. Sound off in the comments!

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