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Sound Bites: September 20/27, 2013

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”That crowd was evil. An arena full of suburban torturers. Young, white alcoholics.” —Dave Chappelle, in a video response to an unruly audience in Hartford, Conn., that heckled him

”Congrats to Charlie Hunnam on the 50 Shades of Grey role. It was a tough fight but the actor with the longer hair won. #bummed” —Rainn Wilson on Twitter

”Only 29 percent of Americans want us to attack Syria. Now, on the plus side that means 29 percent of Americans know there is a place called Syria.” —Stephen Colbert on The Colbert Report

”As long as you’re alive, you can do something.” —Valerie Harper, who will be competing on Dancing With the Stars this fall, in an interview

”I wanted to convey the message to children that this life is worth living. This message has not changed.” —Hayao Miyazaki, reflecting on his vast body of work after announcing his retirement from animation

”Uh, sketches — you can’t say ‘skit’ because that’s a racial slur.” —Keegan-Michael Key, correcting pal Jordan Peele while introducing fan-favorite sketches, on Key & Peele

”Oh my gosh, this is all so sudden…after 13 years.” —Leela (voiced by Katey Sagal), responding to a marriage proposal from Fry (voiced by Billy West), in the series finale of Futurama

”What McCrae and I have is completely real. A 24-year-old pizza boy from Minnesota. And I love him.” —Amanda, about her love interest and fellow contestant McCrae, on Big Brother

”I was at the Tunnel…. You literally were eating your dinner knowing that you were going to be in a fight by the end of the night.” —Vin Diesel, talking about his days as an NYC club bouncer, on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson

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