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'Drunk History' season finale: Lessons learned from 'Wild West'

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Comedy Central’s Drunk History is so hilarious if you’re in the right mood, and probably even if you aren’t. So, what’d we learn from tonight’s season finale, “Wild West,” guest-starring Andrew Daly, Rob Huebel, Jake Johnson, Chris Parnell, and Horatio Sanz? (NSFW language ahead.) 

KEY ‘DRUNK HISTORY’ LESSONS for the week of AUGUST 27, 2013

Teddy Roosevelt has a big old d*ck. Also, “Guys: Spain sucks.”

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An 11-year-old Teddy Roosevelt once said: “If I’m gonna be anything? The thing that I’m gonna be? Is a badass.”

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If you feel like you can’t remember history accurately enough, try lying down.


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After Billy the Kid shot Joe Grant in the local saloon, the bartender’s precise words were, “Well, he was an asshole. Boom boom boom!”

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Billy the Kid’s horse was super cuddly.

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As Billy the Kid (Timm Sharp a.k.a. Amy’s boss from Enlightened) shot those two officers, he definitely said, “Go to hell, bitches!”

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Never agree to a long breakfast with Rob Huebel.

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You may think you sound good while singing drunk, but make no mistake: You sound awful.


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The Sara Lee devil’s food snack cake commercials are, like, uncomfortably orgasmic.


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The attack on the Alamo actually occurred on “March Thix.”

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After he was shot, William Travis (New Girl‘s Jake Johnson) took about 12 seconds to fall.

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Jim Bowie (Chris Parnell) would have succumbed… to “tuh-berk-a-losis” had he not been shot on his deathbed.

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Oh, but how passionately he fought!

And the week’s big takeaway….

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Of course you can pee there — it’s your own place!


“Wild West” and the rest of the Drunk History episodes are available on iTunes.

Will you, too, really miss this weekly shot of education?