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'Hollywood Game Night': Ranking the freakishly fascinating facial mashups

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On Thursday’s Hollywood Game Night, the teams (Max Greenfield, Ellie Kemper, Kal Penn, and plebian Jill vs. Kenan Thompson, Minnie Driver, Angela Kinsey and plebe Dipal) participated in a riveting round of Celebrity Fusion — in which two celebs with a common name had their faces smeared into each other and presented as art. (So basically, Conan’s “If They Mated,” but on a show with a different title.) I’m VERY ashamed of how long it took me to guess the above beauty, but at least I didn’t say “Boy George..Carlin?” like poor JIll.

Doesn’t take much to fascinate me on a summer Friday! I’m gonna rank these creatures from least horrifying to most:


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Pamela Anderson Cooper (not not hot)

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Steven Tyler Perry (yikes, but pedestrian)

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Steve Martin Short (Tom Brokaw in a wind tunnel?)

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Boy George Clooney


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Kevin James Franco (fat Sean Penn?)

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Lil’ Kim Kardashian (we also would have accepted “Generic Bratz Doll”)

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Toby Keith Richards (hat flaps look like Dumbo ears)


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Meg Ryan Seacrest (because my first guess was David Bowie)

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Paul Simon Cowell (NO NO NO HELP GOD STOP NO)

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Other Hollywood Game Night highlights included Kenan Thompson‘s heroic efforts throughout the “How Do You Doo?” name-that-tune round (how did people not get his spot-on version of “What a Girl Wants”?) and international treasure Minnie Driver‘s method of complimenting each celebrity she had to describe to team captain/boring regular person Jill in the final round. (Re: Denzel Washington: “Beautiful. Just the most beautiful actor there is.”) She is a DELIGHT. Let’s get her on a more challenging show than Hollywood Game Night for sure.


Kal Penn wincing in disgust after turning over the Ryan Reynolds tile in “Matchmaker”


…..and Max Greenfield guessing that “Brad Jr.” is one of the names of Brad PItt and Angelina Jolie’s kids. I’m pretty sure Max just wanted to hit the bar — he’s a sensible guy!

I love Jane Lynch as host event though those out-of-character baubles are killing me.

Are you still watching this delightfully low-engagement freakshow? Do you still feel like a genius? Discuss.