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'Breaking Bad' -- The periodic table of elements

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Breaking Bad Periodic Table

On Aug. 11, Breaking Bad returns for its final eight-episode run. Before the second half of season 5 premieres, refresh your memory with this handy guide to the series — presented, naturally, in the form of the periodic table.

1. H — Hank: Schrader, Walt’s brother-in-law — a DEA agent who’s the Javert to Heisenberg’s Valjean

2. He — Heisenberg: Walt’s criminal alter-ego, named for Werner Heisenberg — a German theoretical physicist best known for his eponymous “uncertainty principle”

3. Li — Lily of the Valley: A pretty flowering plant found in cool, temperate environments and New Mexican backyards — and what Walt uses to poison Jesse’s girlfriend’s son

4. Be — “Better Call Saul”: Season 2, episode 8, which introduced slippery lawyer Saul Goodman

5. B — Bitch: Jesse’s favorite word

6. C — Mr. Chips: A fictional, much-beloved teacher first introduced in the 1934 novel Goodbye, Mr. Chips. Cited in Breaking Bad creator Vince Gilligan’s much-repeated original pitch: “I’m going to turn Mr. Chips into Scarface.”

7. N — No-Doze: One of Tuco Salamanca’s head lieutenants; beaten to death by Tuco in a junkyard

8. O — “Ozymandias”: Season 5, episode 14, and a Percy Bysshe Shelley poem about hubris and fallen empires that’s recited in season 5b’s eerie teaser

9. F — Flynn: What Walt Jr. abruptly decides he’d like to be called. “As in what — Errol?”

10. Ne — Jane: Jesse’s tragic girlfriend, who hooked him on heroin, tried to blackmail Walt, and ended up dead

11. Na — Sandia National Laboratories: The company that employed Walt as a chemist during Skyler’s first pregnancy

12. Mg — Magnets[, bitch]: What Walt and co. use to erase the contents of Gus’s laptop while it’s locked in the DEA’s evidence room

13. Al — Todd Alquist: A crooked exterminator who joins Walt’s meth business, eventually replacing Jesse

14. Si — Los Cuates de Sinaloa: The band that sings “The Ballad of Heisenberg

15. P — Skinny Pete: Jesse’s friend, fellow dealer, and secret piano virtuoso

16. S — Skyler: Walt’s wife and reluctant Lady Macbeth

17. Cl — Clovis: Badger’s cousin, who owns a towing company — which comes in handy when your meth lab’s inside an RV

18. Ar — Maximino Arciniega: Gus Fring’s partner in the chicken/drug business, and possibly his lover; murdered by Hector Salamanca on Don Eladio’s orders. Fun fact: The actor who plays Krazy-8 is also named Max Arciniega

19. K — Klepto: Walt’s sister-in-law Marie, who has a little shoplifting problem

20. Ca — Cancer: What Walt’s got; it’s also what killed Jesse’s Aunt Jenny, who owned the house Jesse subsequently stayed in

21. Sc — Scarface: The end point of Walt’s transformation. Walt and Walt Jr. watch the film in “Hazard Pay,” horrifying Skyler; while describing Gale Boetticher, Hank says he’s “like Scarface had sex with Mr. Rogers”

22. Ti — Tio Salamanca: A.K.A. Hector — ex-drug runner, uncle of Tuco and the murderous cousins, enemy of Walt and Jesse… until they discover the one man he hates more than them

23. V — Victor: Gus’s right-hand man, who tries to prove he can cook as well as Walt or Jesse and gets a box cutter to the neck as thanks

24. Cr — Cranston: Bryan, the star of the show. Won three consecutive Emmys for his work as Walter White

25. Mn — Minerals: After being shot, Hank becomes obsessed with minerals — or as Marie likes to call them, “rocks”

26. Fe — “Felina”: The title of the series finale, which will air Sept. 29. Doubles as an anagram for “finale”

27. Co — Combo: Jesse’s friend and fellow dealer, who gets shot and killed by an 11-year-old boy

28. Ni — Nine: The number of men Mike’s been paying off. Walt has all nine killed simultaneously in prison

29. Cu — “Box Cutter”: Season 4, episode 1; see “Victor”

30. Zn — Zinc: Found in coins and spare metal parts; an essential ingredient in Walt’s homemade battery

31. Ga — Gale: Gus’ original cook, and a Walt Whitman enthusiast

32. Ge — Georgia O’Keeffe: Jane gets Jesse to go to her museum by promising paintings that look like vaginas

33. As — Asphyxiation: How Jane dies — she chokes on her own vomit, while Walt watches

34. Se — Jesse: Pinkman, Walt’s on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again partner

35. Br — Birthday: The series begins the day Walt turns 50 years old; we know he’ll live at least until he turns 52, according to a

36. Kr — Krazy-8: A.K.A. Domingo Molina, a meth distributor who will be Walt’s first kill

37. Rb — Roomba: A nifty cleaning robot Jesse buys; Walt plants a fake ricin cigarette inside it so that Jesse will think he just misplaced the deadly poison

38. Sr — September 7, 1959: Walt’s birth date

39. Y — The Caine Mutiny: A movie Mike watches in early season 5; it’s about a crew that revolts against its increasingly unhinged skipper. Foreshadowing?

40. Zr — “Hazard Pay”: Season 5, episode 3

41. Nb — Newborn: Holly White, Walt’s daughter — whose birth he misses while delivering meth to Gus

42. Mo — Carmen Molina: The assistant principal of JP Wynne High School, where Walt once taught; he goes on “sabbatical” after attempting to kiss her

43. Tc — Tuco: The psychopathic drug kingpin, briefly Walt and Jesse’s ally, then their enemy. He’s shot and killed by Hank, incurring the wrath of his hulking cousins

44. Ru — Tyrus: Victor’s replacement, killed thanks to Hector Salamanca’s exploding wheelchair

45. Rh — Hugo Archilleya: A sympathetic janitor at Walt’s school

46. Pd — “Problem Dog”: Season 4, episode 7; it’s also the metaphor Jesse uses to explain why he killed Gale

47. Ag — “Madrigal”: Season 5, episode 2; the German company that owns Los Pollos Hermanos

48. Cd — CD player: There’s one in the used PT cruiser Skyler buys Walt Jr. for his 16th birthday — he can listen to tunes in it, while cruising around! (Naturally, Flynn is not impressed)

49. In — California Institute of Technology: Where Walt studied and worked as a chemist

50. Sn — “Thirty-Eight Snub”: Season 4, episode 2; the type of gun Walt buys

51. Sb — James “Big Jim” Rennie: A politician in Chester’s Mill, Maine — and Dean “Hank” Norris’s other starring role this summer

52. Te — Teddy Bear: A creepy pink-and-white stuffed toy found floating in Walt’s pool, debris from the Wayfarer 515 aerial disaster. The left side of its head is burnt and mangled — foreshadowing for the way Gus would die?

53. I — “When I Heard the Learn’d Astronomer“: A Whitman poem Gale recites for Gus, which can be found in Leaves of Grass.

54. Xe — Axe: The Cousins’ weapon of choice

55. Cs — “Crawl Space”: Season 4, episode 11; where the Whites have been hiding their money, and the site of Walt’s breakdown when he realizes Skyler’s given a large chunk to Ted

56. Ba — Badger: Jesse’s friend, fellow dealer, and a terrible judge of who is and is not a cop. Also the lead singer of Twaughthammer, Albuquerque’s best/worst band

57. La — Money Laundering: What Walt must do to use his drug funds. First, it’s laundered via Walt Jr.’s SaveWalterWhite.com; later, it’s laundered via car wash

58. Ce — Cerebral Palsy: Walt Jr. — and actor R.J. Mitte — has Cerebral Palsy

59. Pr — Proton Radiography: In 1985, Walt did research into proton radiography that contributed to someone else’s Nobel Prize win

60. Nd — Tommy James and the Shondells: The band behind “Crystal Blue Persuasion,” memorably used in a season 5 montage. Tommy James claims it’s not about drugs

61. Pm — Pamela: Skyler’s divorce attorney

62. Sm — Smoking: Walt gets lung cancer, even though he doesn’t smoke. Several other characters do, though — including Skyler, in an act of defiance against Walt

63. Eu — Pharmaceutical Company: Gray Matter Technologies, founded by Walt and his ex-friend Elliott Schwartz. Walt sold his share for $5,000; eventually, it would have a net worth of $2.16 billion

64. Gd — Bogdan: Walt’s boss at the car wash, who does not take kindly to men who let their women do the negotiating

65. Tb — Ted Beneke: Skyler’s boss, with whom she has an affair; he sustains a terrible neck injury while trying to escape Saul’s enforcers, and may never walk again

66. Dy — Dye: Other meth dealers use it to make their crystal look like Walt’s

67. Ho — Wendy: A methhead prostitute who turns tricks at the Crystal Palace. She helps Jesse get out of a few sticky situations — but doesn’t want to help him murder two drug dealers

68. Er — Lambert: Skyler’s maiden name. In a flash forward, we learn that Walt will adopt it for his fake ID

69. Tm — Tony Montana: Scarface‘s protagonist, a Cuban drug lord whose presence looms large over Breaking Bad

70. Yb — Keyboard: Did we mention Skinny Pete can play?

71. Lu — Blue Sky: The street name of Walt and Jesse’s signature blue meth, made with methylamine rather than pseudoephedrine

72. Hf — “Half Measures”: Season 3, episode 12; the title comes from Mike, who tells Walt a story about threatening an abusive man. Shortly afterwards, the man killed his wife — leaving Mike wishing he had killed the guy instead of just scaring him

73. Ta — Tax Break: Creator Vince Gilligan originally set the series in southern California, but moved it to Albuquerque because of tax incentives

74. W — Whitman: A humanist poet who shares Walt’s first name and initials; he’s Gale’s favorite

75. Re — Remake: The series is being remade in Latin America as Metastasis: the story of Walter Blanco, his accomplice Jose Miguel Rosas, his Colombian narcotics agent brother-in-law Henry Navarro, and his wife, Cielo (which means “sky” in Spanish)

76. Os — Los Pollos Hermanos: A fast food chain and drug front. Motto: “Los Pollos Hermanos, where something delicious is always cooking.”

77. Ir — IRS: The Internal Revenue Service, which catches on to Ted’s cooked books — and won’t send him to jail, provided he pays $600,000 in back taxes and fines

78. Pt — Physical Therapy: After being shot by the Cousins, Hank endures grueling PT to learn to walk again. It’s paid for by Skyler, using Walt’s “gambling winnings”

79. Au — Erhmantraut: Mike, a fixer who partners with Walt, mentors Jesse, and has memorable last words: “Shut the f— up and let me die in peace

80. Hg — Mercury: How Walt blows up Tuco’s office in season 1. Science, bitch!

81. Tl — Tequila: Gus murders Don Eladio and his associates with a poisoned bottle. Walt Jr. also has an unpleasant encounter with the stuff at a party for his dad

82. Pb — Pb & J: The sandwich Walt makes for his first day at the superlab. He cuts off the crusts — as he has on every sandwich since killing Krazy-8

83. Bi — Bike Lock: Speaking of Krazy-8, that’s how Walt murdered him

84. Po — Pool: If you see a pool on Breaking Bad, chances are something awful’s about to happen. Walt Jr. throws up into his family’s; later, it’s filled with plane crash debris, drug money, and Skyler, who sort of tries to drown herself while her family watches. Gus’s partner Max was also killed poolside, as were Don Eladio and co.

85. At — ATM: Don’t call a skank a “skank” when your head’s underneath one

86. Rn — Ricin: A deadly poison Walt synthesizes twice. The first batch is gone; the second lies in wait behind a socket in Walt’s house.

87. Fr — Fring: Gustavo, a fastidious drug lord, Walt and Jesse’s sometime employer, and season 4’s primary antagonist. Dies in a particularly grisly/awesome way

88. Ra — X-Ray Technician: Marie’s job

89. Ac — Air Conditioner: Where Walter originally stashes his earnings. (It’s a popular spot; initially, Dexter Morgan hides his blood slides there too)

90. Th — The One Who Knocks: Let’s just reprint that whole speech: “Who are you talking to right now? Who is it you think you see? Do you know how much I make a year? I mean, even if I told you, you wouldn’t believe it. Do you know what would happen if I suddenly decided to stop going into work? A business big enough that it could be listed on the NASDAQ goes belly up. Disappears! It ceases to exist without me. No, you clearly don’t know who you’re talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Skyler. I AM the danger! A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!”

91. Pa — Paul: Aaron, Breaking Bad‘s other star. Has won two Emmys for his work as Jesse Pinkman

92. U — Fugue State: When Walt returns after being held captive by Tuco, he claims to have undergone one of these — saying that he can’t remember where he’s been

93. Np — Broken Plate: Walt discovers a shard of it is missing — and realizes that Krazy-8 intends to kill him with it

94. Pu — Pure: Walt’s meth is 99.1 percent pure, the best on the market

95. Am — Vamanos: Vamanos Pests, the exterminator business Walt uses to cover up his roving meth lab

96. Cm — Security Camera: Walt reacts poorly when he finds there’s one surveying him at Gus’s lab.

97. Bk — Brock: Son of Jesse’s girlfriend Andrea; poisoned with what appears to be ricin but is actually Lily of the Valley

98. Cf — “Confessions”: Season 5, episode 11. Will air Aug. 25

99. Es — United States Constitution: The wallpaper in Saul’s office features the Constitution; classy!

100. Fm — “Full Measure”: Season 3, episode 13

101. Md — Dr. Delcavoli: Walt’s doctor, one of the top ten oncologists in the country. Thanks to him, Walt goes into remission in season 2

102. No — “No Mas”: Season 3, episode 1; Spanish for “no more.” Walt comes clean to Skyler and declines an offer to come work for Gus. (Obviously, his resolve is short-lived)

103. Lr — Lazer Base: A shut down laser tag joint proposed as the perfect money laundering front by Saul; later, Jesse hides out there

104. Rf — Ron Forenall: The foreman of Madrigal’s Houston warehouse, incarcerated for his role in Gus’s drug empire; later murdered by a prison coup ordered by Walt

105. Db — Denny’s Breakfast: How Walt “celebrates” his 52 birthday while on the lam; he buys a machine gun in the bathroom. Jesse also wants to get a Grand Slam after cooking meth for days in “4 Days Out.” He sort of gets his wish in “Box Cutter,” when he and Walt head to Denny’s after seeing Victor’s throat get cut

106. Sg — Saul Goodman: Walt and Jesse’s lawyer, and the subject of a possible Breaking Bad spinoff

107. Bh — GmbH: Gesellschaft mit beschränkter Haftung, or the type of corporation that Madrigal is — meaning “company with limited liability”

108. Hs — High School: JP Wynne, where Walt once taught. Walt Jr. and his friend Louis still attend

109. Mt — “Major Tom (Coming Home)”: A song by Peter Schilling. Gale absolutely kills it at karaoke

110. Ds — Drew Sharp: Dirt bike rider, tarantula enthusiast — and unfortunate witness to Walt, Jesse & co.’s train robbery.

111. Rg — George Merkert: Hank’s former boss at the DEA, who later resigns because of his relationship with Gus Fring

112. Cn — Cap’n Cook: Jesse’s original pseudonym. He has a pretty sweet MyShout page

113. Uut — Ubermensch Underemployed Teacher: Walt, at the beginning of the series — though the “ubermensch” part may be debatable

114. Fl — “Fly”: Season 3, episode 10; the pesky bug that drives Walt nuts and catalyzes the show’s most introspective episode

115. Uup — Unfortunately Unstable Porta-Potty: What Jesse falls into while trying to sneak into the RV at night. And that’s not even his lowest point…

116. Lv — Lavanderia Brillante: The commercial laundry that hides Gus’ meth superlab

117. Uus — Untaxable Unlawful Salary: The bank Walt and Jesse make, thanks to their business. By mid-season 5, they’ve earned millions — so much that Skyler has given up on trying to count the total

118. Uuo — Unkempt Underwear Outside: Walt’s signature tighty whiteys, the same sort of underwear favored by Malcolm in the Middle‘s Hal — though Hal never wore his while standing outside a mobile meth lab and shakily pointing a gun.