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'Catfish: The TV Show' react in GIF form -- Dorion and Jeszica


This season’s ‘Catfish: The TV Show,’ which premiered Tuesday, June 25 at 10 p.m. on MTV features so many OMG moments that it is best to analyze each episode with equally expressive reactions. And not just text-based or still image reactions — GIF reactions.

The crew films Max filming on a spinning chair in Nevax’s latest nondescript hotel room. Max, you can do better.

This week folllows Dorion “torn between two women.” He’s in a real-life relationship with Raffinee but is in an online relationship with Jeszica, a model/mother/college student. He says Jeszica could “be the one I marry.” As such, he told his girlfriend about his other love. He’s just frustrated that Jeszica always has excuses to not video chat and meet off line. Dude has a girlfriend. Like a real world girlfriend. In reality. What the hell is he doing?

Dorion is between two women which, as Max says, could be a good place or a bad place. Oh Max, that’s why we keep you around.

Dorion met Jeszica online two and a half years ago. At the end of the year, he became homeless after his mother, who suffers from severe asthma, was evicted for not being able to pay the bills after being hospitalized. He connected with Jeszica, who was emotionally there for him as he went through tough times. He also admired her as a working single mother — she has a young daughter Janelle — reminding him of his own mother.

Nonetheless, he moved in with Raffinee, who he’s been with for seven months. He also already knows of multiple Jeszica pages with the same pictures online, but his Jeszica insists her’s is the real deal.

Max gives Dorion some real talk pointing out how poorly he’s treated Raffinee. It seems like Dorion’s naive in thinking that his rather flippant talk about how strongly he feels for Jeszica doesn’t hurt Raffinee, with whom he not only has a relationship but with whom he lives!

Max and Nev do a dumb hotel telephone bit in order to make it clear that they have separate rooms. Not buying it, guys.

Anyway, investigation time! Nevax performs a classic image search and quickly discover that, according to Mr. Internet, the photos belong to one of MySpace’s “most faked” girls. Unlike last week, this week’s Catfisher is most definitely not who she says she is. Checking Dorion’s Jeszica’s page, they notice a post by another user, Sammy, who claims to be Jeszica’s ex. They get in touch with Sammy, who turns out to be another Catfishee. He was in the same boat as Dorion, but Jeszica cut off ties with Sammy the week prior to being contacted by Nevax. We get it, this is a Catfisher vet — less talk, more investigating.

Nevax return to Raffinee and Dorion’s house, this time with Raffinee present. She hopes that Jeszica isn’t real because she doesn’t want Dorion to leave her for someone else. She has been accepting of this process because she doesn’t want Dorion to be with her while thinking about someone else. Nev flexes his moderator muscle and takes Raffinee outside for some air after she becomes emotional. She’s visibly upset and feels embarrassed by the bizarro situation. She is more than allowed to cry in frustration for she has so much more patience and understanding than I would ever dream of entertaining.

Nevax shows Dorion their results. Not only is Jeszica not who she say she is, but she has lied about being in simultaneous online relationships with other people. That’s when Dorion starts to feel truly deceived. Nevertheless, he still wants to continue in order to learn the truth. Plus, she did after all provide emotional support for him when he was homeless.  Regardless, I’m glad he doesn’t have unrealistic expectations.

As Nevax picks up Dorion to head to Texas to meet Jeszica, Dorion states that “Raffinee needs her space.” Does that mean they’ve broken up at least temporarily? Is he moving out of Raffinee’s house? Is he homeless again? Did this “relationship” with Jeszica cost him a real girlfriend and a home? What’s going on?!

Dorion seems a bit more excited than I would have thought. Does he still think Jeszica might be the real deal?

And Jeszica turns out to be — not Jeszica! But instead, she’s Alexis — who seems put together and normal. Huh? Alexis immediately greets Dorion, telling him that she loves him and wants to be with him. Huh? Not only has she lied about Jeszica, but she also doesn’t a have a daughter. She explains that she made her up because her niece was around a lot at the time. Huh?

Max awkwardly states the obvious, blurting out, “But you’re pretty.” and questions why she lied about her appearance at the very least. (Is that not a diss to everyone he hasn’t said that to? Unfortunately, his shock was also what I was thinking, too.) Dorion also asks a good question — “why do you love me?” Her answer basically boiled down to because reasons. HUH?!

I can’t with Nevax at the Tellus Science Museum. Max says the moral of today’s lesson (redundant?) is “Science is cool.” I say that Nevax didn’t learn anything but remembering they like to touch stuff.

Dorion has made his decision. He “chooses” Raffinee over Jeszica/Alexis and tells her via video chat. Raffinee is a stand-up lady. She’s true to herself and Dorion in saying that she’s happy that he wants to be with her, but she’s not ready to just forgive and forget. She says that they’re going to have to work toward returning their relationship to where it was because he did truly hurt her. Stay gold, Raffinee!

Dorion sits down with Alexis to talk. He says that he doesn’t want to pursue a relationship with her. But now neither does she. She’s upset because she’s shocked Dorion has a girlfriend about whom she didn’t know. Are you serious? She then asks why he came to see her? BECAUSE HE THOUGHT YOU WERE A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON. Alexis is most certainly correct in saying that Dorion shouldn’t not have been in two relationships at the same time. That’s accurate. But she needs to stop being so self-righteous. It’s utterly ridiculous.

Nev briefly speaks with Alexis and drops a truth bomb. He considers how easily the situation could have been different if she had been truthful with Dorion sooner. He then he may not have entered a relationship with Raffinee. Damn, the truth hurts.

Two months later, Raffinee and Dorion are together again. Alexis has deactivated her Jeszica page and seems to be positively moving on from the situation. This episode didn’t include the fairy tale-like happy ending from the previous episode, but everyone involved seems to be at peace and happy about the experience. Catfish: The TV Show: Making positive experiences out of bizarre, dysfunctional virtual relationships! I should hurry and trademark that genius slogan before MTV takes it.