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Hit List: July 19, 2013

Channing Tatum’s aversion to clothes, Mick Hagger’s hair auctioned off, and more

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1. Channing Tatum reveals that he gets naked when he arrives home: ”Once the shoes are off, the socks come off too, and then everything else downstairs just follows at some point”
And now TMZ will frantically work to confirm rumors of a home video titled Magic Mike 2: Tighty-Whities Down.

2. Steven Tyler says he will need knee-replacement surgery
Falling in love turned out to be even harder on them than he thought.

3. Jay-Z, officially a sports agent, disses top baseball agent on ”Crown”: ”Scott Boras, you over, baby/Robinson Cano, you coming with me”
He had also considered: ”Keep on collectively bargaining with top brass/I’m about to pop a salary cap in your ass.”

4. Analysis by European academic finds The Simpsons has helped change perceptions of gay people with progressive portrayal of homosexuality
Alas, another Simpsons study asserts that there’s been an alarming 38 percent increase in parents disciplining children by grabbing them by the neck and shouting, ”Why, you little…!”

5. Lock of Mick Jagger’s hair sells for nearly $6,000 at auction
Raising questions like ”What would Keith’s fetch?” and ”Why are these auctions getting creepier?”

6. NBCUniversal inks deal for digital comics based on five shows from the ’80s and ’90s, including Knight Rider, Punky Brewster, and Saved by the Bell
Some of us choose to read that headline as ”NBC Strangely Decides Not to Make Comic Based on The Golden Girls.”

7. Sophia Loren reportedly to play lead in movie for first time in almost a decade
Grandma? Can you come here? A headline got sent to me that I think was meant for you.

8. The Big Bang Theory‘s Kaley Cuoco dating Superman, a.k.a. Henry Cavill
Mayim Bialik, Dean Cain. Dean, Mayim. I’ll leave you two to get acquainted…