English, motherf—er! Do you speak it?!
If so, you might want to head over to Reddit — where Samuel L. Jackson himself has volunteered to record a video in which he’ll read any 300-word monologue of the Internet’s choosing. Post your pick on the thread; whatever gets the most upvotes by tomorrow night, Pacific Time, will win.
And just in case you don’t believe this is real, Mr. Jackson has posted a verifying photo on his Twitter account:
(Obligatory serious note: Jackson is doing this for the Alzheimer’s Society, since his family “have been unfortunate enough to have been affected by the disease.”)
Gosh, imagine the possibilities!
Users have already suggested an excerpt from Carl Sagan’s Pale Blue Dot (with a few extra swears added in), the lyrics to Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” and the Pokemon theme song, Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven,” only “replacing the word nevermore with motherf—er,” and Regina George’s monologue about how she and Janis Ian used to be friends from Mean Girls — as well as a variety of original compositions. Read the thread to vote for your favorites — or to suggest something even better. (EW’s Sarah Caldwell suggests Kathryn’s climactic monologue from Cruel Intentions, for starters.)