THE MUPPET MOVIE
If you made it through the lively credits sequence, in which the Muppets discuss their own movie, you stayed too long according to Animal, who appears and yells, ”Go home! Go home! Bye-bye.”
Less than five minutes into the film, cabbie Ted Striker (Robert Hays) tells his passenger, ”I’ll be back in a minute.” Eighty-three minutes later, the poor guy is still waiting for the driver to return.
FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF
A bewildered-looking Ferris (Matthew Broderick) breaks the fourth wall to deliver a Muppet-style message to those remaining in the theater: ”You’re still here? It’s over. Go home.”
The terrifyingly sharp-toothed anglerfish that tries to snack on Dory and Marlin in the movie meets a tiny green fish with the bite span — and appetite — of a killer whale. Chomp!
Napoleon’s brother, Kip (Aaron Ruell), gets his happy ending: He ties the knot with LaFawnduh (Shondrella Avery) and promises, in song, to love her (and technology) ”always and forever.”
X-MEN: THE LAST STAND
After supposedly dying in the film, a bed-ridden Professor X (Patrick Stewart) shocks his doctor (Olivia Williams) and us by bidding her a groggy ”hello.” The old man is more resilient than we thought.
Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) arrives home to find S.H.I.E.L.D.’s Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) in his living room. ”I’m here to talk to you about the Avenger initiative,” he says. And so it begins.
PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 4
This one introduces a forthcoming Latino spin-off, in which a shaky camera pans a religious-paraphernalia shop whose witchy owner warns, ”This is only the beginning.”