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Hitlist: March 15 2013

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? Animal rights activist/singer Morrissey slams BeyoncĂ©, Jimmy Kimmel, the royal family, Duck Dynasty, and Paul McCartney Earning him the prestigious title of ”This Week’s Vegetarian With the Most Beefs.”

? ”Harlem Shake” spends two weeks at No. 1 after Hot 100 formula updated to include YouTube streams Alas, there’s another surprise: Daniel Powter’s ”Bad Day” has reappeared at No. 29, thanks to an America’s Funniest Home Videos montage of grandpas falling down the stairs and losing their toupees.

? Ron Livingston to join cast of mobster drama Boardwalk Empire He was a little late for his audition, though, explaining apologetically, ”I can’t believe what a nerd I am. I had to look up money laundering in a dictionary.”

? Celebrity Wife Swap nets series-high ratings with Kate Gosselin America, we had a deal: You can watch all the reality trash you want, but you are not to encourage Kate. If she makes a comeback, this is on you and you alone.

? Revlon model seen projected on building facade in Mad Men opening credits suing show for unauthorized use of her image, lost profits In addition, that coat-and-tie guy is seeking legal action over the faulty window he keeps falling out of.

? Fan at One Direction show who threw shoe and hit Harry Styles in groin apologizes: ”Never meant to hurt you” ”No worries, darling,” moaned a still-on-the-ground Styles. ”But in two years if you want me to sing ‘What Makes You Beautiful,’ I may need you to do that again.”

? Star Trek and Star Wars fans cry foul as President Obama uses term ”Jedi mind meld” while talking about dealing with Congress ”My sincere apologies,” said Obama. ”I really deserve a Vader nerve pinch for that one.”

? Kanye West: ”I am Picasso. I am Michelangelo. I am Basquiat. I am Walt Disney. I am Steve Jobs.” After reading this quote, a shocked Kim Kardashian said, ”Wow, I guess I really do get around.”

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