All around Hollywood, the movie industry’s best and brightest are preparing for the year’s biggest awards bonanza — a starry, starry night of designer dresses, well-deserved wins, and touching acceptance speeches.
But as exciting as the Independent Spirit Awards may be, they can’t hold a candle to the Golden Raspberry Awards. Since 1980, this off-brand ceremony has rewarded the best in bad film, giving cinematic trainwrecks like Mommie Dearest, Howard the Duck, Showgirls, and Battlefield Earth the dishonor they deserve. The films in contention this year may not be quite as terrible as those that have won in years past — I Know Who Killed Me, anyone? — but most of them are certainly worthy of a $4.79 gold-spray-painted trophy.
So, which less-than-Oscar-worthy flicks will walk away “winners” at this weekend’s most important awards show? Here are EW’s picks for those that should snag “gold” — and those that will most likely end up victorious.
The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure
That’s My Boy
A Thousand Words
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2
Should win: Breaking Dawn — Part 2 leads the Razzies pack this year with a staggering 11 nominations in just 10 categories. Still, compared to Adam Sandler’s latest turkey and Eddie Murphy’s long-shelved family “comedy,” the last Twilight movie might as well be Amour. But none of these contenders is as infamous as The Oogieloves, a bizarre movie aimed at preschoolers that had the worst opening weekend in box office history. That’s got to be worth a Razzie.
Will win: That’s My Boy. Razzie voters love to hate Adam Sandler — his Jack and Jill swept the awards in 2012, winning in every single category — and this year should be no exception.
Sean Anders, That’s My Boy
Peter Berg, Battleship
Bill Condon, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2
Tyler Perry, Good Deeds and Madea’s Witness Protection
John Putch, Atlas Shrugged: Part II
Should win: Tyler Perry has somehow never won a Razzie. This is clearly an oversight that needs to be corrected ASAP.
Will win: Unless there’s a flood of support for That’s My Boy, expect this to be Perry’s year. (Sorry, Peter Berg; people don’t even care enough about Battleship to hate on it.)
Katherine Heigl, One for the Money
Milla Jovovich, Resident Evil: Retribution
Tyler Perry, Madea’s Witness Protection
Kristen Stewart, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2 / Snow White and the Huntsman
Barbra Streisand, The Guilt Trip
Should win: Between The Ugly Truth, Killers, Life as We Know It, and New Year’s Eve, Katherine Heigl is long overdue for Razzie gold. Those previous performances weren’t even nominated — a travesty!
Will win: Kristen Stewart is catnip to haters, as well as a perpetual Razzies bridesmaid — she has four previous nominations, but no wins. Expect to see her bite her lip all the way to victory.
Nicolas Cage, Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance / Seeking Justice
Eddie Murphy, A Thousand Words
Robert Pattinson, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
Tyler Perry, Alex Cross / Good Deeds
Adam Sandler, That’s My Boy
Should win: While it’s incredible that Nicolas Cage remains Razzie-less despite basically every film he’s made in the past 10 years, it’s tough to argue that Adam Sandler’s latest grating, gratuitously accented man-child deserves this one.
Will win: Sandler. [fart sound]
Worst Supporting Actress
Jessica Biel, Playing For Keeps / Total Recall
Brooklyn Decker, Battleship / What to Expect When You’re Expecting
Ashley Greene, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
Jennifer Lopez, What to Expect When You’re Expecting
Should win: Wait, what’s Ashley Greene doing here? Everyone knows she’s the best thing about the Twilight movies! Clearly, the Supporting Actress field this year is pretty weak; considering the competition, Rihanna’s inauspicious acting debut is probably the most deserving performance here.
Will win: Rihanna will get sunk, if only so that the Razzie presenters can make a few Chris Brown jokes.
NEXT: Worst Screen Couple, Screenplay, and Remake, Rip-off or Sequel