February 15, 2013 at 05:00 AM EST

Stage 1
Immediate concern over Kevin Spacey speaking directly to camera.
Thankfully it’s less distracting than his hair…or that A Time to Kill Southern accent.

Stage 2
Obsessive IMDB search for Corey Stoll
This is the same dude who played Ernest Hemingway in Woody Allen’s Midnight in Paris!

Stage 3
We Really Want Ribs.

Stage 4
Holy hell, Robin WRight is amazing!
Holy hell, Robin Wright is 46! Holy hell, is Robin Wright really doing origami?!,

Stage 5
Full-blown Card addiction.
Badger your co-workers into watching. Stop strangers on the street and just yell out, ”COREY! STOLL!” Begin to tweet…but realize you could spoil viewers not up to speed. Isolate yourself and watch the entire season…especially since your friends refuse to continue discussing the complexities of the Underwood marriage.

Stage 6
Everything is so clean
We like to imagine that the Underwoods have an entire staff of invisible, mute maids who take weekend jaunts to the Container Store. But we should probably just credit Cards‘ production designer, Donald Graham Burt.

Stage 7
The Mara sisters kind of sound like each other.
But on Cards, Kate is unfortunately styled like an Old Navy version of Rooney’s Girl With the Dragon Tattoo character, Lisbeth Salander. (Cropped cotton blazers? Criminal!)

Stage 8
We want more! We want more!
Season 2 of Cards won’t gear up for production until spring, but Netflix has Eli Roth’s Hemlock Grove in April and Arrested Development in May. Cross your fingers for a crossover with Robin Wright and her tiny paper swans…

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