Thought Matt Damon would be content with a simple guest appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live? Think again.
After years of serving as the butt of Kimmel’s regular show-closing joke — “Apologies to Matt Damon; we ran out of time” — the Oscar winner got his revenge last night by seizing control of Live. Kimmel spent the entire episode taped to a chair with a tie stuffed in his mouth, watching helplessly as Damon taunted him, replaced his sidekick and his bandleader with Andy Garcia and Sheryl Crow — a definite case of trading up — and enlisted a bevy of other stars to assist in his takeover. From the show’s very first minutes, it was clear that this would be a night to remember:
Though Amy Adams, Nicole Kidman, and Gary Oldman were Damon’s main guests, they weren’t the only big celebrities who appeared on “his” show. Damon kicked things off by welcoming his Good Will Hunting costar Robin Williams, who gave him a little help with his opening monologue. Tons of celebrities, including Robert De Niro and Sally Field — not to mention Kimmel’s parents — taped messages for Damon, congratulating him on his coup. Reese Witherspoon and Demi Moore both stopped by after Garcia just happened to bump into them on Hollywood Boulevard. (What a coincidence!) And at one point, Sarah Silverman even dropped in to revisit her old f—buddy — Damon, not Kimmel.
But not everyone on Live was on Matt’s side — as evidenced by this clip, in which a certain cue card reader is revealed to be a star with close ties to both Damon and Kimmel. Dramatic things can happen when bromances go bad:
The highlight of the night, though, may have been when Damon explained the true origin of his beef with Kimmel. See, Jimmy always wanted to be an actor — but unfortunately for him, Matt beat him out for every role he ever really wanted. (Even Happy Feet 2.) And thankfully, Damon managed to collect footage from every one of Kimmel’s failed auditions — including the one for Stuck on You where he’s duct-taped to Greg Kinnear.
Sadly, all good things must come to an end — including Damon’s conquest. But at least this historic show ended the only way it could have: with Damon smugly informing Kimmel that they’d run out of time for him. How do you like them apples, Jimmy?