1. Daniel Craig reportedly gets New York driver’s license after passing road test
And he would’ve scored a perfect 100 if only he hadn’t accidentally ejected the DMV employee in the passenger seat.
2. The Simpsons to make Judd Apatow-penned script 22 years after he wrote it
In a funny episode, Homer becomes obsessed with Jesus Jones and Koosh balls while smoking a lot of pot. It runs for two and a half hours.
3. Nicki Minaj has another nip slip on live TV
Totally outrageous and not expected! I’m being sarcastic!
4. Syfy to air giant-boxing-robots competition
In 2013, they become TV’s biggest stars. In 2016, they are allowed to compete in the Olympics. And in 2019, THEY TURN ON US.
5. As part of fund-raiser, celebs including William Shatner, Betty White, and Tom Hanks will record custom voicemail messages for $299
There were a surprisingly small number of requests for Alec Baldwin and Chevy Chase.
6. State Department cancels Andrew W.K.’s government-sponsored trip to Bahrain
He’s now lobbying to get dispatched to Israel, where he heard there are currently more than a dozen parties in the Knesset!
7. Former Price Is Right model awarded $8.5 million by jury who agreed that producers discriminated against her after her pregnancy
At first the jury tentatively awarded her only $5.2 million, but they then were swayed when the audience began shouting, ”Higher! Higher!”
8. Lindsay Lohan on playing Elizabeth Taylor in Liz & Dick: ”Elizabeth was drunk on sets. I’ve never been drunk on set, ever”
She then paused and said: ”Define ‘set.’ Are we standing on one right now?”
9. Discovery cancels Dirty Jobs after eight seasons
It got a little awkward when no one at the network wanted to tell Mike Rowe, so they hired him to break the news to himself.