Have you ever wondered why you keep watching The Walking Dead, even when nothing ever seems to happen? Well, thanks to this colorful graph from the good people over at Blame It On The Voices, now we know and — spoiler alert! — it’s because all the episodes follow basically the same pattern. Check it out below (NSFW):
Okay, truth time: the beginning (and most of the middle) of season two was a drag. Honestly, the zombies moved faster plotwise. And every episode felt like the yellow, green and pink. But then something happened. The writers listened to our anguished cries and… Sophia (SO-FEE-YAH!) died. The minute she came out of that barn, the entire driving force (what little there was) of the second season collapsed. The characters had no reason to stick around that godforsaken farm. They had to move on.
And though even leaving the farm took awhile — I still think they should have left Randall (Michael Zegen) to die on that fence — the group was thrown into chaos, effectively upsetting The Walking Dead‘s formula. Lori was driving off on her own, Carl was fighting zombies in a swamp, Shane was getting crazier, and even Carol showed a little fire. Everybody wasn’t moping around anymore (or being operated on — there sure were a bunch of medical emergencies, huh?). Sure, people still did stupid things, the zombies still seemed to be few and far between, and sometimes things were a little boring. But with everyone spread out — at the town bar, on the road, in the swamps — there wasn’t as much time for the philosophical discussions that were killing The Walking Dead in the first place. Gone were the yellow and the pink (not the green, never the green) and in were the red, gray and blue — action!
That was just the end of season two. Have these guys seen season three yet? We could have easily had to endure a season about the trials of winter (in Atlanta? Is it that bad?), but The Walking Dead skipped right over that and went straight for the jugular: the prison. And it’s not just me. A massive 10.9 million people tuned into the premiere for its first telecast. They wouldn’t be watching if every episode kept to Blame It On The Voices’ chart. So while this graph is funny, it’s not relevant anymore. That’s not to say there aren’t some shows that could benefit from this kind of treatment — True Blood in particular comes to mind — but I think it’s safe to say The Walking Dead is not one of them (for now, anyways…). Who’s with me?