It isn’t every day I get a severed foot in the mail. Not since I moved out of New Jersey, anyway. (Only joking! I’ve never lived in New Jersey.) Anyhoo, yesterday I did receive a highly realistic but allegedly edible lower extremity to promote the release this Friday of Resident Evil: Retribution, the fifth entry in the hugely successful zombie franchise which stars Milla Jovovich, Michelle Rodriguez, Sienna Guillory, Boris Kodjoe, and Colin Salmon, amongst others.
Now, I could have taste-tested the said food myself. But, being a generous fellow, I thought I would gift it to our hardworking interns and let them report back. You can read their assessments — and view a selection of comical, fake foot-eating pics — below.
“It’s sort of like a doughnut. It’s good! It could use a little more sugar. I like it. I wonder if the blood tastes any different. [Cuts herself a slice of fake red grue] It tastes totally the same.”
“It tastes like I’m eating a bagel, but it looks like a foot. That’s the only difference.”
“It’s stuck in my teeth. It tastes like bread to me. A little stale. It definitely doesn’t taste like foot. Not that I’ve ever tasted foot.”
Doughy, stale, and in need of some sugar? That sounds like me. And, on that disturbing note, I’ll leave you with the trailer for Resident Evil: Retribution. Check back on Friday for EW’s review.