All of those crazy kids’ favorite vamps, wolves, “unique” hairstyles, a bunch of promos for Fox’s fall TV lineup, and scores of unwanted brightly hued surfboards came out to party at last night’s 2012 Teen Choice Awards.
The X Factor‘s Demi Lovato and Glee‘s Kevin McHale co-hosted. Flo Rida, Justin Bieber, and Carly Rae Jepsen performed, and — get this — No Doubt sang live. Hey, it is the ’90s!
The full list of TCA winners is on page 3 of this post; my own personal winners of Fox’s two-hour telecast are below. By all means, list your own in the comments.
Choice Approximation to a Horse’s Ass
Demi Lovato’s head
Choice Two-Toned Biceps
Choice Humanitarian / Surfing Unenthusiast
Choice New Bangs?
Zachary Knighton (I prefer them side-swept).
Choice Suddenly Resembles Robin Tunney
Choice Aggressive Face-Time Jockey
Choice Talk to the Hand
Crystal the Monkey (Justin Kirk’s Animal Practice co-star)
Choice I’m Too Old For This S—
Choice I’m Too Good For This S—
Choice I Will Blue Crush This Surfboard With My Meaty Paw
NEXT PAGE: Nice try, Stefano Langone