I don’t understand the cultural obsession with Kanye West’s narcissism. The majority of great musicians — heck, the majority of great artists in every medium — are narcissists. All that really matters is that Kanye West is a narcissist who makes great music. And given that reality TV is a genre built on exhibitionist narcissism, I’ve been waiting with desperate glee for Kanye to arrive on this season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. As you probably know, Kanye agreed to be a plotline on this season of Kardashians when he started dating Kim. Last night, Kourtney asked Kim point blank if they were dating.
Kim refused to kiss and tell. “Just because I’m seen with someone, does it automatically mean it’s my boyfriend?” she asked, clearly unaware of Statute 421-K in the California Constitution, which clearly states: “Be it here declared forthwith that any man possessed of Homo sapiens characteristics who is witnessed walking or sitting within three yards of Kimberly Carlotta Kardashian shall be henceforth declared Ms. Kardashian’s boyfriend and fiancé until such time as a court of law finds him innocent of same.”
After a lot of boring stuff happened, Kanye finally showed up. He slouched behind the corner of a wall and looked very conscious of the cameras, which is more than you can say of Kim’s ex-husband. Kanye hugged all of Kim’s sisters: Kylie and Kourtney and Kendall and Kindle and Koltrane and Krumholtz and Kupferberg. He took Kim to the opening of Scott’s new restaurant. Because Kanye smartly refused to be miked, we only really heard him say one thing. Somebody complimented him on his necklace, and this happened:
Kanye: “I got it from my boy in Japan.”
Kim: “I’ve never been to Japan.”
Kanye: “I gotta take you.”
Ah, love! It’s my duty as the local Kardashian expert to point out that most of Kanye’s minute-long appearance on last night’s episode also appeared prominently in this season’s preview video, which probably means that this is the last we’ve seen of him on Keeping Up With the Kardashians. But never underestimate the power of Kris Jenner, especially when her daughter is dating someone whose first name starts with “K.” Don’t be surprised if, by this time next year, E! is airing a new TV series: Kim and Kanye: Krazy in Klove. The last “K” is silent!
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