1. Ashton Kutcher’s production company sues California DMV for allegedly backing out of deal for reality series
One reporter seeking comment from the DMV is still on hold trying to make an appointment, while two more have been waiting in line C for, like, three hours.
2. New mom Hilary Duff tweets that cigarette she was photographed holding was actually her friend’s
Ah, the ”friend” defense. Just as believable as the ”dehydration/exhaustion” excuse but without the hassle of a hospital trip.
3. Kristen Stewart named highest-paid actress, earning $34.5 million over 12-month period
It’s simple, really: A studio offers her money. She makes that face. The studio gets nervous, offers her more. She makes that face…
4. Bret Michaels launches line of dog products including leather collar, skull sundress at PetSmart
Don’t worry, the products are 100 percent animal-friendly — they were tested thoroughly on Rock of Love contestants.
5. Charlie Sheen joins Mel Gibson in cast of Robert Rodriguez’s Machete sequel
The movie is expected to gross between 40 million and 60 million TMZ stories.
6. The Black Keys suing Pizza Hut for using their song in commercial
They’re seeking over $75,000 in damages, and the right to never get charged full price for half toppings (Dan loves olives but Patrick totally hates them).
7. Big-screen version of Sesame Street in the works
I smell Oscar! That guy never takes a shower.
8. Ex-CFO of Pearl Jam’s management company charged with first-degree theft, stealing $380,000 from band
It was the biggest rip-off of Pearl Jam since Creed.
9. Judge rules Social Network‘s Jesse Eisenberg can proceed with $3 mil lawsuit against distributors of Camp Hell for overselling his participation
Surprisingly enough, the producers weren’t scared into settling after he warned them: ”I’m 5’9″, 150, and there’s one of me.”