The war between CBS’ ”Big Brother” and its ABC doppelganger ”The Glass House” saw a new salvo on June 20 when CBS put out a tongue-in-cheek press release announcing an imaginary new series called ”Dancing on the Stars.” The premise? Contestants quickstep on celebrity graves in a competition that has nothing whatsoever to do with ABC’s ”Dancing With the Stars.” That got us thinking about what other reality shows we could ”reimagine.”
So You Don’t Think You Can’t Dance
Show it has absolutely nothing at all to do with: So You Think You Can Dance
Description: Teams of not untalented dancers try to disprove that they’re the worst. So if you don’t hate dancing and double negatives, then this show would never not be for you.
Show it has absolutely nothing at all to do with: Jersey Shore
Description: Idaho might not have the same levels of drama or melanoma as New Jersey, but there’s still plenty of excitement. In the third episode, Greg gets ticketed for parking too far from the curb, Jane almost forgets to buy stamps, and the gang gathers at the local watering hole — an actual hole with water in it.
Show it has absolutely nothing at all to do with: The Voice
Description: Fashionistas and the sartorially gifted compete as a panel of celebrity judges determines who among them has the best fashion sense. The twist? The judges aren’t allowed to see them!
The More Amazing Race
Show it has absolutely nothing at all to do with: The Amazing Race
Description: A bigger group of more interesting contestants go on a trip to more exotic, more beautiful locations as they endure more difficult challenges and eat more disgusting ”delicacies” in order to win even more fabulous prizes because we need a whole lot more viewers.