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Sound Bites: May 15, 2012

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”If Lenny Kravitz was a Russian nesting doll, you’d be, like, the little one on the inside.” —Guest judge Jesse Tyler Ferguson, describing a contestant, on So You Think You Can Dance

”Your dress is so short I can see your IUD.” —Ellie (Christa Miller), to Laurie (Busy Philipps), on Cougar Town

”First Lady Michelle Obama said that if she could trade places with anyone in the world, it would be Beyoncé. Of course, it got awkward when Barack was like, ‘I’m game!”’ —Jimmy Fallon on Late Night

”If I had a dollar for every time somebody told me they had a cousin or a friend or a friend of a friend with an artificial leg, I’d be a multimillionaire.” —Aviva on The Real Housewives of New York City

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