Last week’s episode of The Bachelorette featured lots of shocking moments: Tony’s emotional breakdown over missing his son, Ryan’s ill-conceived declaration that he wouldn’t “love on” Emily as much if she gained weight after they were married, and Alessandro’s language-barrier-fueled admission that he views the idea of becoming a husband and a stepfather a “compromise.” But something even more jaw-dropping took place within the walls of the Potential Husband Plantation… Let’s hear Emily tell it (from her people.com blog):
“Alessandro’s comments definitely threw me for a loop, but that wasn’t even the craziest thing he said. What you all didn’t get to see is that he thinks of himself as a ‘Vampire Detector’ and let me know that not only was there a vampire in the house, but he also had me join him in the woods, which explains my combat boots as I was walking him out.
When he took me out to his special place in the woods, I saw that he had hung crosses from every limb on every tree and in that moment I knew we were living on completely different planets.“
Somehow, that crazier-than-a-monkey-with-syphilis moment did NOT appear in the episode, and many feared that the footage had been lost for good… until now! EW.com has unearthed the lost scene, and it’s every bit as wackadoo as you hoped. Take a look. (But first, a disclaimer: The views expressed in this clip are solely the views of the idiot with all the hair product and do not reflect the views of EW.com or of Emily Maynard, a God-fearing Christian woman who in no way endorses the occult.)
There’s a lot to love about this — the Blair Witch stick crosses, the perfectly timed bird screech, the artfully arranged tea lights — but I think my favorite moment has to be the look of pure I am going to murder whoever cast this guy with my bare hands rage that settles on Emily’s face once she realizes that someone let a serial killer crash her fairy tale.
Now I kind of wish Alessandro had stuck around longer. Am I alone?